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gentleknj · 7 years ago

Text

ruin the friendship

Pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

Genre: fluff, maybe some slight angst?

Friends to Lovers!au

WARNINGS: mentions of abusive relationship, swearing, and mentions of anxiety/panic attacks. Please do not read if these things are triggering to you, I would rather have 0 readers than harming someone mentally and/or emotionally.

Word count: 6k+

A/N: this is my first blurb, one shot, whatever you want to call it, so don’t mind any mistakes since this is my first. but it is dedicated to one of my lovely mutuals whose birthday is today! i really went all out lmao. happy birthday annie!! i really hope this is okay. enjoy!

Maybe it was the way he couldn’t stand the sleazy guys you always dated, maybe it was the way he thought you were the most beautiful woman on this planet when he first met you. Maybe it was because in the last four years of friendship he had seen you blossom from a girl who kept to herself and was engulfed in anything revolving music to this radiant, extroverted beauty. Whatever it was, it finally pushed Jungkook to do what he was planning tonight.

He stood with his hip resting against the island in the kitchen that doubled as your kitchen table whenever the two of you had nights free to yourselves. But here he was, scrolling through his phone with a hand stuffed in his slacks pocket, dressed to the nines and waiting for you to finally leave your room for the dinner he planned for you “four-year friend anniversary”. His attention was fully on his screen through the photo album of you two over the last year of living together.

“Jungkook!” You shrieked, eyes lit with excitement as you pointed towards the sky, fireworks popping.

He laughed, tilting his head to the side for a moment like he always did before joining you on the grass. The river rushed a few meters away and over twenty meters below as the two of you laid back to enjoy the view. It was the first time he had seen you smile since you had broken up with a boyfriend you had acquired while on a trip with a friend in Ireland. It had lasted long distance for nearly nine months and then you had gotten news that he had slept with other girls because the distance was too much. It made sense, but it hurt. What hurt more was your tears at five in the morning as Jungkook held you for support. That was the first time he saw you cry. And he had to admit, that the view of you laughing and smiling so hard your nose scrunched, was one he’d rather you wore more often.

The colors were vibrant and beautiful, your giggles and excited pointing here and there were just a bonus. He knew then that he wanted to make you smile like that for a long time.

Your heels clicking against the wooden floor were enough to draw a smile to his face. His phone was discarded into his pocket before he stood fully, eyes meeting yours. To say he was at a loss for words would be an understatement. The red of your dress against your skin was more complimentary than when the color is fading into a sunset. Your hair fell in gentle curls on your shoulders, the silk of the dress hugging each of your curves in such a way that left nothing and everything to the imagination. You looked elegant and ethereal and he stood with his mouth agape in response.

“If I did too much, I can change...” You trailed off with a nervous laugh, pink dusting your cheeks as you looked at the ground.

“No, no!” He rushed, startling both of you. “I mean- Y/n, you look… you look gorgeous.” He said with a breathless chuckle, taking your hand in his to spin you around.

His words made the blush on your cheeks darken before you swatted his chest playfully, scrunching your nose with a wide smile. “You don’t look half bad yourself, Jeon.”

Now it was his turn to blush, but not for long enough. The door was opened and held for you to exit first, your coat offered to you like a scene straight out of a romance movie. He wanted everything to be as magical as you had described to him all those long nights ago.

“So, what’s your ideal date?” You asked, leaning against his headboard and popping a grape into your mouth.

Jungkook paused his game, rolling onto his side to look at you fully, his brows knit in confusion. “What?”

“Oh, come on, bunny. You know, like what kind of date would you want to go on with a girl? Like to the movies and then an arcade, or maybe just dinner and a walk home?”

“Where did this- okay. Well, I know you won’t stop asking until I tell you, so. I guess I would just want to walk around the city at night. See all of the lights and just hold hands.” He answered with as much of a shrug as he could muster given his position.

You dealt him a dramatic eye roll and a grape that hit his head with a ‘smack’, which bounced off the bed. A loud giggle bubbled between you two before you looked at him with a dreamy smile, grape bag gripped to your chest melodramatically.

“Well, simpleton, I think my dream date would to be to go to a fancy restaurant, dressed to the nines. Glamorous, you know?” You closed your eyes now to imagine the scene, Jungkook taking full advantage to admire the way you spoke so passionately about a fanaticized date. “And then I would want to go back to his place, drink a little and take off all of my makeup and overly glamorous outfit to just play a scary video game. Now that, that would be a really good date.” You checked the time on your phone before jumping to your feet, jolting the poor doe-eyed boy from his dreamy state. “Fuck, its nearly 2 am, I need to get back to my dorm before Sunmi beats me to death.” Another grape was shoved into your mouth before you grabbed your things, turning haphazardly as you pulled on your shoes. “See you in dance class tomorrow, bunny.” You said before swallowing the remnants of your grape.

Before you left that night, you kissed his forehead and reminded him to take his medicine before falling asleep. That was the night he knew he fell in love with you.

“After you.” Jungkook’s voice was soft, his hand resting on the small of your back as you two checked in at the restaurant.

“Jeon, this is too fancy. Why are you doing all of this?” You whispered as you glanced around at the aristocrats and inevitable CEO’s that littered the place.

Suddenly you felt underdressed, as if everyone was staring at you and knew that you both were just college seniors just trying to get by. The brown eyed boy noticed the fear on your face and automatically stood between you and your vision of the people sat around at the various tables. “Y/n, it’s okay, just trust me, yeah? Pretend it’s only you and me. We aren’t here to please them anyways, we’re here for our friend-iversary dinner, remember?”

A small bit of tension fell from your shoulders as you took Jungkook’s hand, nodding softly. “Let’s go have some bomb ass food, just the two of us, yeah?” You said, cheeks flushing pink as the infamous bunny smile overtook Jungkook’s features.

It was nearly 1 am but with your dance final tomorrow, you couldn’t mess it up. Your partner and ex-boyfriend, Yugyeom, was supposed to be here. But he just left your messages on read and left you to the wolves. Jungkook walked back into the studio with a bag from the corner store, offering you the choice between the caffeinated drinks before taking a long swig of water. He had come around 10 pm when you had your melt down. Your partner flat-out canceled and if you showed up without one you would automatically fail.

“Take a break, yeah? Your part is fine, I need to finish figuring out mine, so I don’t ruin this for you.” Before you could protest he had gently nudged you onto the couch in the far end of the studio, hitting play on the stereo.

He worked through the entire night to perfect the choreography you had given him, so when you woke up from your unintentional slumber at 7am, it was genuinely breath taking to see him have the steps down perfectly. As you sat up with a slightly embarrassed hunch to your shoulders accompanied by proud clapping, his tired eyes met yours in the mirror. You could’ve sworn that was the biggest smile you had ever seen him muster.

Later that morning, the final went better than you could’ve hoped and prayed for. Your professor even stood up to applaud your hard work before moving onto the next student.

The table you two were sat at had a view of the night life of Seoul, the cars zooming by in blurs and people walking the sidewalks with no recognition for anyone else’s world but their own. You stared out the large window at the view below, hand moving to blindly grasp your glass of water as Jungkook admired you in the low light. The small and few freckles that decorated your arms, chest and neck were counted before his gaze rested on your lips, pink and plump. As you turned your attention back to him, his eyes fell to the menu, the anxiety rising in his chest at the situation.

Who was he kidding? Why did he go through with this batshit plan? Aren’t you still on and off with that asshole Jeongyeon set you up with three months ago, what was his name again? Kim something? Shit. Jungkook glazed over the menu, ordering whatever the waiter claimed to be the special this evening and turned his gaze to the city buzzing below, the only thing buzzing louder than the thoughts that danced around his head. The discomfort was evident in his body language, off putting the once comfortable and happy mood shared between the two of you.

The first weekend after the two of you moved in together was the most memorable. Jungkook had bought the new Resident Evil game. Considering you two were horror junkies, he deemed it fitting for the two of you to stay up all night playing it. But throughout the first hour of the game, you chucked the controller at him one too many times during combat sequences. So, you two made a pact, he fought, you solved puzzles.

Everything had been going just fine, you solved the puzzles that Lucas left around for the birthday party sequence and ended up not getting Jungkook killed. But you hid like a baby an hour before when ‘Mama’ was crawling along the ceiling with her tummy full of bugs and nastiness exposed and grotesques. The small whimpers that fell from your mouth whenever she got close to Ethan, his character, fed the brown eyed boy’s ego. Earlier, he called you a ‘wuss’ and a ‘scaredy cat’, so your terrified reactions caused a smug smile to crack onto his face. But of course, you couldn’t see that, your head was hidden behind his broad shoulders and cocooned beneath his comforter. But it didn’t make his chest swell any less knowing that you took comfort in him, even if it was from a fictional, animated character.

By the time another puzzle presented itself, Jungkook was blindly handing the controller behind him for a few minutes before realizing you were snoring softly at the top of the bed, socks pulled off sleepily as you were curled in his blankets, hair strewn across his pillow. He would never tell you, but that was his favorite view of you. You looked so peaceful when you slept, slightly pouting, but nonetheless you looked as if the world hadn’t troubled you in your lifetime. As if nothing every broke your heart, or broke you into sweats just before finals came around and stressed you beyond human belief. He smiled to himself before turning the system and television off, pulling the blanket that had fallen onto the floor to rest on top of you before padding to your room with a yawn.

As he tucked himself under your blankets, the smell of your coconut and cherry blossom array of products lulled him to sleep faster than he’d like to admit to himself. But you gave him a kind of comfort and reassurance he hadn’t felt since his parents left him.

“Hey, are you alright?’ Your voice broke him from his thoughts, the smell of fresh food and your soft, warm hand on top of his invading his senses.

“Huh? Oh- uh yeah, sorry I was just thinking about something.” He lied through a false smile, removing his hand from yours nervously.

His attention was on his food and light conversation with you, asking how your day was and if you that one teacher of yours was still giving you trouble. Instead of answering him, you just frowned in his direction, making as much of an effort as he was at the failing and overwhelmingly awkward situation. A heavy sigh fell from his lips at the realization that he was screwing up his own entire plan. His fork was set on the plate with a louder than anticipated clang, drawing your attention and a few others from surrounding tables.

“I’m sorry. I have work and school on my mind and I let that get in the way of our dinner. So how about after this, we get some ice cream from the market, the big tub like you like, and we can go play that new game you wanted to try out. As an apology?”

Your signature dramatic eyeroll, one of his favorite things you did, made its reappearance before your wide smile made its way onto your features, nodding softly. “Fine, but you’re paying for the ice cream. I already bought the game on your console when I was getting ready.”

“Sneaky, I like it.” He playfully dropped an obnoxious wink, causing the two of you to laugh before finishing off your meal.

The bill was paid and instead of making you walk all the way back to the apartment in those awfully high and skinny heels, he pulled out a pair of those disposable flats he had bought off of some infomercial in hopes they would work well enough to get you home with less pain than those heels were giving you.

“You’re lucky I love you, or else I would have laughed and left you to walk home on your own with these disastrous looking flats.” You smiled, changing your shoes with a relieved sigh.

“Oh, you would’ve, huh? I can walk faster than you could have in those heels, so it would’ve been you alone.” He challenged, ignoring the three words that made his heart beat so loud he swore that all of the city could hear it beating.

A knock fell upon the apartment door, curiosity filling the tall boy. He wasn’t expecting any visitors, not at this hour and definitely not with the thunderstorm raging on outside. Against better judgement, he opened the door only to find you drenched and in tears. His mouth couldn’t form words fast enough to beat his actions. His warm arms wrapped around your shaking figure, bringing you much needed warmth as he maneuvered the two of you into his dorm room, thankful his roommate took the night out.

He sat you down with a few towels and the spare winter blanket hidden away in the closet. He sat opposite you now, on the coffee table, furrowed brows and tired eyes. You had begun to explain that Changkyun, your newest boyfriend at the time, had been sleeping with this girl from his medical class. When you walked into his dorm expecting to find him studying or asleep, considering he told you he didn’t feel well and had a test tomorrow and that you shouldn’t come over, you did anyways. And you’d wished you hadn’t. The thermos filled with soup and the bag from the pharmacy filled with a few cold remedies dropped on the floor with a thud, along with your heart, you swore of it. Jungkook was filled with anger, he couldn’t fathom someone doing that, to you, of all people. But instead of heading to that guy’s dorm and bashing his cheating face into the wall, he tucked your wet hair behind your ears and began drying your bangs before moving on to the rest of your hair.

He didn’t want to hear the rest of the story, anger clouding too much of his mind, so instead he opted for giving you some warm clothes of his and turning on a movie he knew would calm you down. But what angered him the most was the countless times he had seen you with bruises, and tonight was no different. The deep purples and blues that blossomed on the left half of your jaw and the finger shaped bruises on your wrist were painful to witness. Jungkook knew this was the last straw for you, that if the physical torment wasn’t enough to make you leave a man you loved, the emotional torment he caused tonight sure was.

The doe-eyed boy handed you a small, home-made ice pack before nodding for you to take his bed for the night, denying any counter argument you had for him lying on the floor. It stayed silent, save for the gentle hum of the drama playing on the television to keep the two of you occupied mentally from tonight’s trauma.

Around 3 am, the sound of your muffled yet ragged breathing was enough to tear him from slumber and fill his chest with dread. You had since calmed down as he laid staring at the ceiling, afraid that if he interrupted your attempts to calm yourself down would result in a worse outcome. But his concern grew to be too much and he moved to lay facing the bed, your tired eyes meeting his. “Will you please lay with me?” Your voice barely above a whisper as you wiped your eyes.

“Yeah, yeah of course.” He paused, sitting up to properly hold your gaze. “My bed isn’t that big though, is that okay?”

You simply nodded and sniffled before retreating to the far side of the bed. The close proximity of your smell and the warmth of your body next to his was enough to calm his nerves but also drive his heart wild. He tried to will away the butterflies that relentlessly flew around in his blood stream as you wrapped yourself around him, cuddling into him out of habit for comfort.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to have an a-attack like that… “You shut your eyes tightly in what he could only assume was anger judging by the change in your expression.

“Hey, listen to me Y/n, don’t you ever apologize for that okay? I chose to be your friend, knowing you have these. We both are a little fucked up, but that’s why we’re best friends, yeah? You can’t control that, and I know it. You know it. It’s okay, you’re okay. Don’t ever apologize to anyone for something you have no control over. If they can’t handle every aspect of you, they don’t deserve you.”

The look of shock and utter appreciation on your face was one that he couldn’t erase, even if he wanted to.

After so many years, you think you’d know Jungkook by now, but you didn’t. You couldn’t see just how madly in love with you he had been all along. He hadn’t kept any girlfriend for longer than four months, and he never slept around with anyone who threw themselves at him at various parties you two would attend. But in stark contrast, you had a grace period of six to eight months before getting involved with another guy, granted each relationship was longer than eight months themselves. That is a few months ago when you had broken up with some ‘what’s his name’ and started having one-night stands. Nearly every night, or so it seemed. It was either you would head to their place and come back early morning, or you would invite them back to your shared apartment and Jungkook would be met with some stranger doing the walk of shame out the front door as the doe-eyed boy made himself coffee. It became routine for months until Jungkook decided enough was enough.

Another night where loud headphones and ear plugs were the only way he was getting through tonight. He knew the last break up tore you in half, which brought this behavior of lending yourself to whatever guy got you drunk and gave you more compliments than you could count. In all the years of knowing you, Jungkook knew you were insecure, only deeming that sharing your body with someone was something that should be done with someone you trust and care about. But the drunken moans coming from the other room were too much.

His fist collided with your bedroom door twice, waiting for the two of you to stop making noise and open the door, and when you did, the two of you were nearly fully clothed still. Thankfully. But bile still rose in Jungkook’s chest before his anger got the best of him, his hand grasping the guy’s shirt before escorting the drunken fool out of the apartment.

“What the fuck, Jeon.” You stated, rather than actually asking him the question.

“I should ask you the same, Y/l/n.” He rubbed his face before crossing his arms firmly over his chest, disappointment riddling his usually happy face. “I don’t know who is standing in my hallway right now, but that’s not my best friend.”

The alcohol smell on you was strong enough to reach him from across the room. Your glossy eyes and drunken frame resting against the hallway wall was a heartbreaking sight. This wasn’t you, this wasn’t his best friend nor the girl he was in love with. But it was. His anger subsided as you frowned, tears threatening to spill but his hands gently took yours, ushering you to the bathroom beside your room before any tears could fall. You sat half-coherently on the closed toilet as he ran a hot shower for you, helping you remove your makeup before instructing you to take a shower, his figure disappearing behind the now closed door. He sat on your bed for an hour as he waited for you to emerge in nothing but a towel, a slightly soberer, but clean mess.

He could’ve swore he sighed more times tonight than he ever has in his life, but he helped you pick out clothes to wear to bed before leaving you to change and hopefully find your own way into a slumber.

The next day he had woke far before you did and took pity on the hangover you were bound to be feeling the instant you awoke. He fought with himself the entire hour he took to get ready, ‘should I leave her something to help the hang over?’ and, ‘No, she can nurse her hang over herself’. In the end, he left you hangover soup, courtesy his grandmother’s recipe, and Aspirin with a neatly written note of ‘I’ll be home later’ before leaving for his classes that day. You hadn’t called or texted him after you woke, too consumed in your own guilt as you recalled some of what happened last night. Through your drunken haze you had managed to remember the look on his face when you stood drunkenly in the hallway. You later told Jimin that it hurt worse than any break up had, just knowing you disappointed him. But Jungkook and Jimin were just as close of friends as you two were so it was no surprise when he got home he immediately hugged you.

Since then, you hadn’t wandered home at 6 am, clothes disheveled and hangover apparent. You actually seemed to be getting closer to one another. Jungkook could feel his heart soaring every time you would scrunch your nose in laughter at him, every time you would come in at 2 am and asked to cuddle because you had a bad dream. But as far as he knew, the feelings weren’t reciprocated, and he could tell by your actions that the love you felt for him was platonic, that any hope he had of you feeling the same way was out of reach. He shook the feeling of self-doubt on his mind as the two of you entered the G-25 beside the entrance to your apartment building, quietly greeting the high school cashier with a polite smile.

“Which flavor should we get this time?” You asked, tucking your hair behind your ears as you peered into the freezer.

“Hey, I’m only buying. You get to decide the flavor, remember?” He chuckled, glancing at you before shyly turning his attention to the ice cream.

“Yes, but if you’re going to be eating it with me then you need to like the flavor as well, dummy.”

He groaned playfully in response with a shake of his head, his brown fringe falling into his eyes in the process. You laughed at his childishness, turning to gently brush the hair from his eyes. The two of you turned back towards the freezer, deep shades of pink blooming onto both of your cheeks. Silence befell the two of you and he could’ve sworn you could hear his heart coming to a stop before settling on a new flavor to try, the brown eyed boy shyly paying soon after. He still held the door open for you as you both left the G-25, and he also held the door open for you to the apartment building as well as the apartment itself.

“Why exactly are we going to this stupid beach party anyways?” Jungkook spoke as his eyes rolled heavenward, hands shoved deeply into the pockets of his shorts.

“Because there will be free food, alcohol and fireworks. And Jin said his friends were bringing surfboards.”

“And the catch?”

You pouted softly before sighing, arms folding over your chest as you stepped in front of him just before you reached the sand; stopping the two of you from progressing. “It’s a couples thing…” You mumbled, turning your eyes to the ground. “I really wanted to come, I haven’t been able to hang out with Jin or Hoseok or Sunmi and Jeongyeon like this in a while. We don’t have to pretend to be a couple, but we had to show up together.”

“Are you sure that’s the real reason?” his eyebrow cocked up at your innocent expression.

“Well…I was also told that Yugyeom was here… And I wanted to show him that I’m better now. That I don’t need him, you know?”

“But if it’s a couples only party, wouldn’t he be with his new girlfriend then?”

“Yes,” you frowned, rolling your eyes with a sigh. “I also wanted to see who I should be pitying now. He won’t keep her for very long, if I know anything about him, it’s that he genuinely gets bored very quickly.”

“Fine, but you’re buying my barbeque for this.” He said as he copied your eyeroll, only more playfully. He draped an arm around your shoulders before ushering you both towards the people grouped together by the shoreline.

Once inside the warmth of your apartment, the two of you immediately went to dress down into something utterly comfortable and far warmer than your classy attire. Once the doe-eyed boy was dressed, he left the door to his room open before setting up the usual. He tilted his head to the side for a moment as he thought about the weight of tonight, how this very confession has been aching to tumble off his lips for the longest time. The lights were then promptly turned off, spoons armed beside the tub of ice cream as he finished the installation of the game. You padded in a few minutes later in the yellow sweater Jungkook had given you many, many months ago. The sight was enough to stun him into a signature wide-eyed, mouth agape reaction that had a smug smile tugging at your lisp.

“Remember this one?” You joked, modeling the oversized sweater.

“Didn’t my grandmother think we were dating because you came down on Christmas morning in my clothes?” Laughter vibrated through his chest as he moved to stand in front of you.

“Yeah. I remember her face of disappointment at first though,” Soon enough, you were in a fit of laughter as well. “She thought we had sex in your old bedroom the night before. All because I couldn’t go home for the holidays.”

The laughter bubbled into wide smiles for a while, comfortable silence engulfing the two of you. Jungkook felt his heart rate rise in that moment, the sight of you in nothing but his sweater and shorts, hair in a high ponytail; smile on your face and eyes on him and only him. You both held eye contact for a while, the only thing breaking it was the loud sound of the game menu popping up after everything installed.

The theme park was packed for a week night, the excitement for the season thick in the atmosphere. Halloween week at Everland was bound to be congested with people but this was overwhelming. As much as Jungkook liked to play off his anxieties of public gatherings like this, he couldn’t hide this one time.

You and he had made plans to finally come here for their zombie runs, and horrifying attractions for a good night’s scare before his favorite season came to an end. But tonight, his anxiety had other plans. The tightness in his chest was what started the attack and the panicked look in his eyes gave you chills. The way you pulled him to the side and away from public view and held his face between your hands was something he wouldn’t forget. Your eyes never left his, his hands resting on your knees as you were both knelt to the ground.

“Hey, it’s okay. We can leave if you’d-“

“No, we ca-came here to have fu-fun” He stuttered through troubled breathing. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he struggled to calm his own breathing, growing angry at himself for ruining your night.

“Remember what you told me? Don’t get angry at yourself over this, Kook. It’s okay, take deep breaths, I’m not going anywhere. It’s just you and me.”

You repeated the last sentence a few times in the small span of his mild anxiety attack, alternating between allowing him to use your hand as something to squeeze onto and combing your finger through his hair. The feeling of your warm fingers through his messy locks was focused on, the feeling of you being close made the ringing in his ears slow to a halt. Minutes passed with you two completely unaware of the bustle of people around you. It took a few minutes until he was able to stand fully without his body shaking. Guilt consumed him when your eyes met his, the concern oozing from your features.

“Thank you.” His voice coming out softer than anticipated before you nodded sympathetically.

Before the two of you carried on that night to get the absolute piss scared out of you, you pulled him into the tightest hug your smaller frame could muster. He quietly liked the way you fit against him, but he deemed that to be too awkward to even think about mentioning at any point in time aloud. But the three words begged to be spilled from his lips.

Outlast 2 had proven to be more gore-filled and horror driven than either of you anticipated. The same routine presented itself, whenever the anticipation was too high, and the character had to stealth through a section to avoid being killed horribly, the controller was thrown at Jungkook. He was amused every time you dug your feet beneath the covers and shielded your eyes from the inevitable tense atmosphere the game presented. Only this time, he turned to face you, pausing the game.

His heart hammered out of his chest as his smile faded into him drawing his lip between his teeth. When the sound of the game came ceased to exist, you peered at him over your hands, confused. “Is everything okay?” You asked, your brows knitting together.

“Not really.” He started, resting the controller on the floor before shifting to face you. “I’ve had something on my mind all night. Well, for so much longer than that actually.” Fuck, this was more anxiety inducing than he thought. He willed away the shaking his body screamed to do, he used every ounce of self-control he could muster to not start hyper-ventilating. This could ruin the friendship. It could ruin everything. God damnit, just tell her. “I love you.” He rushed, blood rushing to his head as the three words finally fell from his lips. It was euphoric almost. Almost.

The look on your face made his heart sink to his stomach, his eyes searching yours for any emotion only to come up empty handed. He took your silence as a chance to continue.

“I don’t mean it the way you meant it earlier. I mean it the way you meant it when you said it to those stupid guys you’ve dated. It was so hard seeing them treat you so horribly. And I really didn’t always see you this way, I promise, or maybe I did, I don’t know. But when I look at you, I want to kiss you. I want to hold your hand and make you feel like the world revolves around you. Because, truthfully, my world does revolve around you. And I know there is more than a 90% chance that you are going to pack up and leave out of pure awkwardness, but you need to know this. I love you. I have for a while now, and I can’t keep it to myself any longer. I’m sorry.” He rushed, his thoughts verbally vomiting themselves in front of you for you to pick at and soak in.

Five minutes passed in silence. Ten. Fifteen. His heart was about to rip its way out of his body and run into the river at this point, too ashamed at his choice of timing. What if you were with another guy already? What if you weren’t running for the hills out of pity? He probably looked like a damned fool right now, pouring his heart out and-

“Is that why you set this all up tonight?” You asked, your voice just above a whisper but enough to draw him from his thoughts. His eyes refused to move from their fixed gaze on his folded hands. If only he saw the red that bloomed on your cheeks.

He didn’t trust himself to speak, afraid if he did he would combust or have an anxiety attack that would surely pop his lungs like an over filled balloon. So, he did the next best thing, he avoided your gaze and nodded. Silence engulfed the room again, the feeling of you shifting in the bed made him sick. Don’t you dare throw up. Don’t cry, don’t-

And suddenly your warm lips were flush against his, your eyes shut gracefully as his shot wide open. He didn’t know whether to kiss back but once you drew away, a blush tainting your cheeks, he gently took your face between his hands and pressed your lips together once more.

Time seemed to stand still. The earth moved and collapsed and was reborn all over again. Yes, he had been in love before. Yes, he had kissed other women and felt sparks. But he had never felt contentment bubble in his chest the way he did when the two of you pulled away with shy smiles.

“Jeon?” A smile cracked on your face, eyes meeting. “I love you too, idiot.”

masterlist

a/n: thank you for reading this and i hope you enjoyed it! if you did, please let me know and again thank you lil peaches X

#jungkook blurb #bts imagine #jeon jungkook #jungkook imagine #bts blurb #jungkook imagines #this is my first time posting something like this and im so nervous tbh hfkjdhgs #gonna tag all the boys imagines bc thats the thing i see everyone do so #jin imagine #yoongi imagine #namjoon imagine #hoseok imagine #taehyung imagine #jimin imagine #bts one shot #jungkook one shot #bts fanfic

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mokutone · 4 years ago

Note

yo i would love to hear some of ur trans yam headcanons :) (also ps ur art is breathtaking and whenever i see it reblogged on my dash i always come here anyway to read ur tags bc they r so! good!)

thank u 🥺🥺🥺 god im sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a couple days ksdjghsdkjgh not only have i got a LOT of thoughts to put here (this is only a selection of the bigger thoughts skdjghsdkjhg) i was also super busy the past few days!!!! ty for ur patience, ur compliments, and for inviting me to ramble abt my favorite guy!

maybe the one constant in all trans people is just like. our decision to intentionally and purposefully create ourselves, to forced into an identity by outside forces and to turn away from it in search of something else, and that’s ultimately what makes captain yamato read as a trans character to me! He goes through so many identities, and they are meaningful to him, but you can also clearly tell that he’s searching for something that really fits him.

I don’t really have a lot of firm thoughts on what his specific identity would be, I’ve seen some great nonbinary yams, some lovely genderfluid yams, trans guy yams, there’s a great variety and i delight in them all!

I tend to imagine him as transmasculine and nonbinary but male aligned (which means he’d feel at least a partial connection to or comfort with masculinity) and while there are a bunch of labels for this experience of gender (demiboy, bigender, etc etc) i don’t see him as somebody who would use any specific labels, I feel like he’d keep his own experience of his gender fairly private! He’d prefer and be fine with masculine-coded terms of address, and happy enough passing as a guy.

AHH and on names...

I think Kinoe is the only name that I really see as like. a genuine deadname. It’s a name that means “The First” to my understanding, and so like, probably refers to him having the genetics of the first. Therefore, it’s kind of. literally a name referring to him as his biology...boy thats as deadname as it gets, huh? kill that shit and also danzō

Tenzō is also a name thats given to him, but to my understanding (all I know about the anbu arc is picked up thru osmosis lol) it’s a name that’s given to him twice, with affection. Once from Yukimi, who sees him as her brother (not a vessel for the first hokage’s powers, probably for the first time ever—even if it’s still another person’s name) He takes the name, gladly! Unfortunately danzō. anyway,

Later, when he starts to introduce himself to the non-root Anbu as Kinoe, Kakashi cuts him off and names him to the anbu as Tenzō. To my understanding: it’s a name at rest, not a name for one singular mission, but a name for his entire time in Anbu. It’s the name he keeps the longest. Again, it’s a name that’s given to him to him by somebody else, but it’s one that is given with the intention to free him of Kinoe, and all that Kinoe had to be.

(A note on him getting annoyed with Kakashi for calling him Tenzō in main-plot:

Most of this is of course based off of personal experience, but I find it hard to believe that he would actively dislike Tenzō as a name since it was given with such sweet intentions—most of my names have been gifts, and the only one I’ve actively taken out of rotation has been bc i cannot stand the person who used it, and the way it was used, and while Anbu was certainly bad for Yamato...I don’t think it was quite that bad. I think him telling Kakashi to stop calling him Tenzō has more to do with the use of it where it doesn’t belong—for example, while it’s not exactly a name, I am happy to be called “mokutone” here, and you may notice my friends calling me by another name, but if any of those friends called me mokutone in DMs, I would be bothered by that.)

Yamato starts off as an empty codename, given to him for the purposes of his team 7 mission by the Hokage, but I think it gets such a loving and warm association from just...using out in the sunlight, with these kids that he comes to think so fondly of (he’s such a dad. god. he’s such a fucking dad) and with the friends he makes going out drinking and actually having time to socialize—and that means a lot! I think Yamato is probably the name which becomes most meaningful and like a home to him by the end of the series. This is the active name, the name where he is most himself. It’s vital for him to have that space to grow into!

But that said, I personally feel like, if he were to continue beyond the edges of the story, this would not be the final name he bears. He’s probably well aware that a single name cannot contain who he is, or who he wants to be, and while being Given a name can be a beautiful thing (like i said, most of my names are gifts! i treasure them.) I think that, for his character arc, I would like him to name himself at some point. Even if it’s a name that only exists for private spaces, I want him to complete that self determination, to at least try it out, even if ultimately Yamato is the name everyone else will know him by.

Physical Transition Stuff

i will confess i hurt to imagine these shinobi binding 😭😭 even if an individual is binding safely (well made binder, no more than 8 hours, AND No Physically Intense Activity) they stand to risk hurting themself! In real life we gotta balance out the physical pain and the pain of dysphoria, but this is naruto and I’m Gonna Play Some Headcanon Games!

If chakra is both a kind of spiritual energy as well as directly connected to the body (as we learned in the hyūga fight) then it stands to reason that by manipulating ones own chakra, they can manipulate the body, or at least the way the body changes (such as naruto’s healing factor)

This probably is not the safest thing to do unless you’re a mednin or following the directions of one, LMAO

The second the hell of puberty started up for Tenzō he tried to hold it back by sheer force of willpower + chakra manipulation alone

but, manually controlling one’s chakra is like trying to prevent a stream from flowing with your hands alone, which is to say: an exhausting uphill battle.

He’d probably only be doing it on his down time and not on a mission, but even still the most I bet he could make it doing that without getting figured out is two months.

Luckily blockers are readily available, Tenzō just had no idea and, gender being a private experience for him, was trying to handle the whole thing entirely on his own. Soon after attempting to self-regulate hormones him-fucking-self like a very valid but desperate fool, he gets an appointment, gets a prescription, and can chill out and not have to be as hellishly aware of his body constantly.

Konoha mednin will say trans rights even if the village itself is garbage, this series is so god damn weird already, nobody can tell me a ninja taking hormones is somehow weirder than a ninja taking his dead best friends genetic superpower eye.

TWO WEEKS, THREE SPARS, AND ONE VERY EMOTIONALLY DRAINING CONVERSATION LATER:

u might think kakashi is passing him a water bottle and they both look so exhausted bc its post spar but no. physically theyre fine, but the emotional toll of having to talk about something either of them care at all about? miracle they survived.

#lesbians4tenten #Tenzō #yamato #headcanons #kakashi says that so heavily bc both of them hate going to the hospital but blood tests are necessary for HRT usually #also kakashi is definitely trans as well. i have less headcanons about that bc i see him as like. Even More Private than yamato #(he hides 3/4 of his face. trans icon. also personal privacy icon.)#so like skdjghdskjhg him getting involved is not a moment of Concerned Cis Meddling but like. 'ghghhg this is bad. i gotta step in'#i hc that like he was one of those kids that by the time he was four he was like hey dad im a boy and sakumo was like. fuck ok!#i guess i got a son now!#yamato just did not think about it much #also while i see him having long hair as inherently him repressing his identity it has nothing to do with long hair being 'feminine'#esp bc most of the older men in naruto have long hair. sakumo j*raiya orochimaru madara the whole hyūga clan of men #but instead much more to do with. him repressing being tenzō in order to be kinoe for danzō #and if hashirama had long hair. and all he is is a weapon for hashiramas power to be used through. he too will have long hair.#its also why i wont draw yamato with long hair. while he is handsome with long hair...and an argument COULD be made for him reclaiming it #i feel like aesthetically it represents a return to a relationship he had with his body and with the idea of hashirama #that i am not interested in exploring #perhaps in sage mode it goes very long. and then he has a friend cut it off for him every time #that i could draw #ANYWAY I think everyone should have as many names as they want. you want to be called something? that's your name now congratulations #trans? cis? not sure? doesn't matter the world is your oyster and you can be called anything you want #if people dont respect that theyre jealous and being rude af lmao #image desc in alt text #for all thats worth

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beecherdrysdale · 4 years ago

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Yesss our friendship is amazing! Lexi + Brigid !! And Kesh!. Yes, Jamie Drysdale we owe you for starting our friendship:)

Resistance band training was annoying and I think it made my hips bigger lol-muscle wise. I’m sad about your joint problems.

I wanna come visit!! You should come here too so that I can show you around Canada ! It could be a fun road trip since you can literally drive everywhere. We can pick up the boys in different provinces lol. I despise a lot of my teachers as well. So twinssssss!!

Haha yesss ! Work Jamie work! I’ll switch over to another guy soon lol . Who’s next?. While I’m doing that you are teaching the boys to swim! Go Brigid!.

Okkkk Imma go make black. T-shirts now- it’ll have you and Dylan together on it. I’ll wear it always hehe. Haha thank you!! I forgot that in the states you write colour as color. Hehe okkk Braden is safe then:) honestly he would be a good cushion to fall on :)

Is it weird that I actually see that happening?! Me and Ryan being psycho on a jet ski lol . I’m not gonna lie, the amount of swearing and laughing that would be happening hehe. Yes you and dylan being the cutest on a jet ski. I am am loving the chin on your shoulder 🥺🥺 ooo him clutching your waist 😏😏 kesh is just filming us lol. She’s just laying on top of Kirby hehe.

Awww I love the braiding our hair idea. Quinton would dominate! Also Kesh- I also forgot about Devon but then I thought long and hard about who has great hair so thats how i landed on him . haha yes the boys would get so competitive! Awww Dylan and Jamie braiding your hair 🥺🥺 I love that! Wow how long is your hair? I used to have pretty long hair but then I started choking on it when I played tennis lol, it also got caught on my racquet strings hehe. It’s now past my shoulders but shorter than mid back. Honestly I just love when somebody braids my hair . I reserve Jamie and Dylan to start w your hair !

Ok I like option 2, you dyl, quinner, me, than Jamie hehe. Also why do I see Dylan jumping in first and helping you get in🥺 adorbs. Haha now I can hold onto quinner and Jamie onto me ;)). I will frame the photo.

I’m good with any colour! small will totally fit. Brigid i love you too:) also when I was reading this I was like who the fuck is Lexi? And then I realized that was me 😂😂. I get your point now lol. I wouldn’t want to go in skirt to school during the winter. Ya my school also doesn’t have heating so I wear like 4 layers hehe.

Tyyyy for believing in our dancing skills. Imma dance with everybody especially you. But I gotta let you have your moment with Jamie and Dylan. Quinner get ready to get tipsyyyyyyyyy

Ooo lucky with the fire pit in your house ! I wish . I love s’mores sm too. Honestly I was kinda imagining a bonfire on the beach, I’ve seen people have those and I’m always like I wanna do that too! Nah I feel like you say you have a bad voice but it’s actually amazing. You and Dylan need to harmonize! Or we can just chill and let the guys sing:) that would be funny. Aww yess is falling/cuddling the guys🥺 we’ve had a pretty adventurous vacay so far but there is more yet to come. Also imagine just everybody passing out and then waking up outside and everybody is just sleeping on each other? Idk I just see it. Yess bonfires make everybody look extra cute so pics are mandatory. Yes it does remind me of the end of mighty ducks 2!!

Waitttttt I have another good vacay idea, going to an obstacle park, like racing each other, going on a zip line. Partnering up with somebody to race another team!!

Also we have a debate going on.. we can’t decide who I would have moments with quinner or Braden, what do you think 🤔?

yes i love our friendship! you and kesh are amazing. and jamie, if you’re lurking on here we love you and we owe you lol

haha it’s ok i’m used to my joint problems at this point, so i don’t really feel them too much except if i have a really hard practice they’ll act up. but my sister just calls me an old lady lmao. i’m sorry the resistance band training made your hips worse, that sucks

yes you should definitely come visit, and then i’ll come back with you to visit you! and then we can go pick up all the guys lol. haha imagine driving with all of them, what do you think they would be like on a really long road trip?

hehe oooh who do you want after jamie, maybe quinner? bc you’re already gonna be with braden for the chicken fight lol. and then i’ll just be chilling teaching everyone to swim. telling everyone guys you need to engage your core or else you’ll sink, a lot of people don’t seem to understand that concept lol. hehe yes wear the dylan + brigid shirt. and yeah i always forget that americans spell things weird lol, so then if i ever talk to anyone from canada, england, australia, etc i’m always like wait why did you spell it like that?

hehe yes i could definitely see you guys going psycho. the rest of us just swearing yelling at you bc we don’t want you to crash into us lol. yes i love the chin on the shoulder, that’s so cute 🥰 oooh dyl’s arms around my waist, getting a little spicy lol 😏 and kesh would just be chilling with kirby watching everything go down lol

ok yes quinton and devon just dominating in the hair department and the rest of them just being clueless lol. hehe jamie and dyl just trying to do my hair but it’s just knotting so i have to show them how. my hair hits the top of the waistband of all of my high-waisted pants so it’s super long, so yeah it knots suuuuuper easy especially bc it’s so thin and chlorine damaged lol. haha yeah i sometimes choke on mine when i play soccer, so that’s why i usually wear braids. yessss i love when people play with my hair too

ok, so we’ll go with option 2. and yes dyl getting in and then helping me in 🥺 i’m sure if jamie and quinner saw him do it one of them would do it for you too. yesss i need a framed pictures too. we could get matching frames!

hehe i need you to choose a color i can’t decide. haha i feel that, the first time someone said brigid in the tags i was like how do they know my name? not like i have it in my bio lol. and yes i fucking hate our uniforms and my dumbass school that refuses to give us heat. the teachers will be wearing like 10 layers and we aren’t allowed to wear sweats under our skirts or any hoodies, only the uniform quarter zips, which a lot of people don’t have

yesssss literally you and ryan would slay dancing, but then so would the two of us. literally it would be so fun to dance with everyone. and then having a cutsie moment with dylan or jamie. maybe once you got quinner tipsy and taught him the macarena you could convince him to do a slow dance with you. i mean if he’s tipsy enough you never know 🤷‍♀️

yessss i love having a firepit, but a bonfire on the beach would be the best (outer banks vibes again lol). nooo i promise my voice is bad. like not completely awful but pretty bad. i’m sure yours is better than mine. anyways, yes we’ll just let the guys sing while we just chill lol. yessss just cuddling on the beach and we’re all super tired and fall asleep and then we wake up in the morning and we’re all just like what? lol i can see it. and we’d definitely get cute pics!

omg yesssssss i love obstacle parks. ahaha racing each other across the obstacles, except we’ve already established some of them are scared of heights, so that would be interesting for them lol. me having to tell them to just trust the equipment bc i’m working at one this summer and ik how it works lol. and the ziplines for sure some of them would be freaking out and then we could chirp them lol

ok so i could definitely see you with either, but i’m gonna go with you with quinner just bc i know more about him lol. but if you were leaning towards braden, then go for it bc you would be super cute with either

#ask answered #anon answered #skating anon

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bunnis-babes · 5 years ago

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Can you give us karasuno mafia au Hc's pleaaaase

Karasuno as a Mafia

Okay, this was just kind of sitting here for a while, mainly because I didn’t see it until now? Idk man, but I know I can write this shit and I should’ve had it out like fifty years ago bc I know exactly what this AU is like to me. So I hope its enjoyable!

Brief Karasuno History: Karasuno, once one of the most powerful households in the prefecture, fell after the passing of the then Godfather. Eventually causing strong members to leave and join more… profitable organizations. It went through several different heads, before the position was just dropped on Ittetsu Takeda. It was on the brink of totally collapsing when Sawamura — alongside his close comrades Sugawara and Asahi — joined. He quickly became one of the best men Karasuno had seen in years, and he was determined to make Karasuno the Powerhouse it once was, again. To do that they had to find members, but they couldn’t just ask high ranking men to join, they’d be laughed at or smothered out. So with some sweet convincing from Suga, Takeda okayed taking in scrappy kids off the streets was the best idea - they had nothing to loose, especially not when they were offered a place to stay and food just for some work they’d already been doing. Thus began the rise of the Powerhouse. Karasuno.

Specialties: Karasuno is more of a Jack of all trades, but they do specialize in paid services, such as: Selling/Making of drugs, Buying/Selling of guns, Assassinations, and Bodygaurding.

Takeda: The current Godfather of Karasuno. He has no clue what he’s doing, this whole operation just handed to him out of nowhere because the former leader had given up on this rough group of kids. He was always just a lowly underling who hardly even did any dirty work - and yet this position was placed upon his shoulders, and damnit if he wasn’t gonna do his best. So luck must’ve smiled upon him, when three scrappy boys stumbled into his house holding the same fire and passion to save this place that he did. He even gets one of the former Godfather’s grandson to help him out - as he can’t help these kids in anyway when he hardly knows what’s happening.

Ukai: He didn’t want this. He was trying to avoid this lifestyle, but something about Takeda’s persistence really made him crack. So, this poor man, agrees to join on as Takeda’s right hand - though he winds up doing way more work than him anyway. He has far more experience, coming from a family filled with high ranking members, so he learned from the best. While Takeda handles more of the mild planning and business, he’s hands on with the boys and teaching them everything they know, as well as setting some things up behind the scenes.

Daichi: He’s pretty much the big guy that everyone answers to before going to Ukai or Takeda. Before Karasuno he specialized in the making and selling of drugs alongside Suga, as well as the occasional underground fight for just a bit more money. It was initially to help his family get by, as his mother couldn’t support three children on her own. He came to Karasuno when business was low, and he knew he would need a few extra hands, but had been denied by ever other group. When he joins he become the go to guy to do whatever dirty job he’s needed - and he isn’t afraid to get dirty. Also, he becomes the honorary dad of the house (even in the mafia he is still Dadchi).

Sugawara: He’s more or less of the hitman/nurse of the group. He knows how to make all kinds of medicine - legal and illegal - as well as how to patch up all different kinds of injuries. (He had to with the fights Daichi was going through.) He’s incredibly skilled with a gun, he just hasn’t really used one all that much so he’s sloppy at time. Damn if he isn’t brutal. By far Sugawara is the most brutal killer at Karasuno, especially if his target has wronged him or his house in anyway. He sees everyone at Karasuno as family, and you don’t just mess with Suga’s family and live.

Asahi: He is the muscle. Those fists alone do some serious damage - he does a lot of the disposing and intimidating. He’s an amazing fighter too, knows how to move just right from all those years fighting illegally on the streets just to survive and get by. He fought Daichi a few times when he still participated in underground fight clubs, and kind of became friends with him - as well as Noya who thought so highly of him(we’ll get into that soon). Now if only he didn’t freeze up in super high stakes mission. It still rings true that he’s a gentle giant, and he doesn’t like hurting people unless he absolutely has to, so he gets nervous easily. He earned himself a reputation that’s to be feared, and also to be challenged.

Nishinoya & Tanaka: These two little shits are a tag team that grew up side by side. Both their families were poor so they lived in the slums, and the two boys grew up around violence and had to learn to fight from a young age to stay alive. While Tanaka only learned to fight solely to survive, Noya learned not just to survive but because his father was part of a rather large house and valued having his son know how to fight. They trained themselves to fight side by side, and became a scary double threat. Noya and him fought in the same ring Daichi and Asahi did, and Noya made rather good friends with Asahi, even learning some moves from just watching him - he was pissed when he left the fight club. Thats how Daichi knew about the two, and he approached them - of course they joined and became a kind of wild card in house - a rather dangerous tag team that can pretty easily get out of any situation they’re stuck in. Plus, Tanaka is really fucking good at intimidation.

Tsukkishima: He’s a jack of all trades who was raised by a small gang with Yamaguchi. He left the gang when he found himself bored with it, Yamaguchi following him with his tail between his legs. Joined Karasuno on a whim after witnessing one of their fights and deciding ‘why the hell not?’ He is, like previously stated, a Jake of all trades. He’s smart, fast, strong, and sneaky. His performance, however depends on how many shits he’s giving that day… Which is typically zero. Not to say when he doesn’t care he’s bad, he just doesn’t do his best because he doesn’t see the point in trying all that hard. Also, he despises Kageyama and Hinata - not only are they annoying, but they’re stupidly talented on accident (well in one case) and that pisses him off.

Yamaguchi: This poor boy is so nervous like all the time. He follows Tsukkishima around like a kicked puppy because he’s the only person this poor boy can truly trust. (Some really bad shit went down in his life, he needs a hug). Yam’s, though nervous, has pretty amazing aim with a gun he’s just so shaky that he can be off. He would be a fantastic sniper for the group, and Ukai pushes his training hard because he knows he can do it, he just has to be a little bit more confident. That’s easier said than done with Yamaguchi.

Kageyama: He used to work under the Seijoh house, but was cast out for being too difficult to work with (plus the new leader hated him *cough*Oikawa*cough*). He wasn’t exactly too keen on working with any other houses, but he ran into Daichi who made Karasuno seem so enticing that couldn’t resist it. Only when he got there, he found one of the kids he fought and beat while working under Seijoh was there. The little squirt whom he hated so much after he dared to challenge him with a face beaten to a bloody bruised mess. He was supposed to work alongside this guy. Bullshit. Once they get over their initial dumbassery and fighting, they’re probably the scariest tag team in Karasuno. Fast and unpredictable, building off each others intense energy to beat the ever living fuck out of whoever they’re against. Kageyama alone is scary too, he’s calculating and strong and fast - he knows his enemy better than they do sometimes. He’s also scarily calm even after he’s killed an army of grunts.

Hinata: He’s new to the whole thing, well kind of. He grew up watching all this go down from outside his window, trying his best to keep his mom and sister safe from all this horrifying carnage as best her can with his small untrained body. His first real experience with the whole mafia world was when he and a few of his friends were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and had a run in with Seijoh. He and his friends were nearly beaten to death, but were kindly spared as a warning. Still he found the strength to stand and promise to their leader that he would beat his ass right back when he finally faced off with him again. So imagine his surprise when at his first official house, he realized he would have to work with the guy who he both challenged and was nearly killed by. He’s a rookie for sure, everything he does is clumsy and sloppy and needs work, but he’s fast. He works on instinct that gets him in and out of trouble. He’s a real risk factor, but he’s also one of their strongest contenders.

Kiyoko & Yachi: They were both children of businessmen who tended to deal with less than favorable people. Kiyoko joined first after gaining permission to do so from her parents, and became the first person to work for intel at Karasuno. Yachi joined shortly after Hinata and Kageyama, only doing so after Kiyoko expressed her affections for the household and how she could really use the extra help. Their job is purely to gather information on other houses, clients, and potential job opportunities. They help everything flow smoothly between the heads of the house and the boys who do all the work.

A/N: This is less of a head cannon thing and more of my messy ramblings on something that I got too passionate about. I really hope that this was like… okay? It’s really really messy, but this is kinda what I imagined this would be like. I hope that like… you liked this, and that all their things made sense. Idk man I’m tired. (Also, hope you don’t mind I excluded the other boys ;-; I was getting sleepy)

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oscar-mildes · 5 years ago

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elvira you know I always see what you're hiding in the tags,, I will always read it if you answer all of them abhsjdbs

nev you asked for this and im going to go thru with it bc im an oversharing idiot like oh you asked me how’s the weather i will tell you about all my trauma instead :D

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? i’m cis yo i’m she/her. i’m biromantic ace. thats the label i would put on it i guess. i really just refer to myself as gay bc i like pretty boys who look like girls and pretty girls and pretty nb and queer people and basically i just like pretty people ajsfbjf

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story? theres no story to it. no epiphany or realization. i just always was ok with thinking that girls were pretty and that gay people are cool and it wasnt until recent years that i was like oH SHIT AM I GAY

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it? no i guess bc i’m a girl and id as a girl and have a very obvious girl body

Who was the first person you told, how did they react? i guess my best friend. we’re both very ok with gay shit and we just always made comments about pretty girls and now we’re both pretty gay. i like my big tiddie anime girls and she likes her pretty kpop girl bands

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel? i’ve only “come out” to some of my friends. i would NEVER in my LIFE even imagine telling my mom i like girls. shes homophobic Like That

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react? uhh see above. my mom, stepdad, family members are all homophobic. hispanics in general are Like That rip. i think my dad would be the most ok with it but he lives in mexico and i dont talk to him often anyway. doesnt matter

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality? i hate when people ask me about the ace part. like they have a bigger problem about my not wanting to have sex over the liking girls part tbh. sometimes it’s difficult for me to even describe where i am on the ace spectrum. it’s honestly the more difficult part

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. basic nerd. you know those fics like “she dressed in a black t-shirt, skinny jeans, and all star converse” yea that she is me

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships? ajkfj this is a good question and canon wise i love Ash and Eiji from Banana Fish, Uenoyama and Mafuyu from Given, Nezumi and Shion from No. 6, and Simon and Baz from Carry On. Not canon i love Kurama and Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho, Izuku and Todoroki from My Hero Academia, and Inosuke and Tanjiro from Demon Slayer. Note how most of them are anime i

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any? i dont really wear any bc im lazy. if you like it you do you but idrc for it? except for lipstick i LOVE lipstick i have all the colors. i wear it so it distracts people from the rest of my face

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you? ...no

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community? i live in the south so ive heard tons of shit talk about gay people. i dont really have any that stand out. my mom just likes to say that we’re going to hell :D so let’s give em a show ay

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? i guess i like how we find solidarity in each other just bc we’re not straight. most of the lgbt+ folks i know are pretty chill about everything

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? terfs but they dont count

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not? i live in a small town and i could never sneak out of my house for that bc i still live with my mom so no

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity? theres so many big celebrities now that id as lgbt+ but im going old school and loving my man, my tumblr url namesake mr Oscar Wilde. my man got put in jail for sodomy

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet? lmao never bc im mean, ugly, and terrible at talking to people irl. i had a bf in middle school? but bc i was 12 i dont count it

What is your favourite lgbt+ book? Carry On and the sequel Wayward Son. (very anxiously waiting for book 3 Anyway the Wind Blows come on Rainbow Rowell)

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened? for being gay? no. bc im not really out. ive faced discrimination for being a brown woman tho :)))

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show? yall i love gay anime: Given, Banana Fish, No. 6, Yuri on Ice yeee. i dont really watch tv with real people but i think that Brooklyn 99 does a very good job with Holt and Rosa yall im love Rosa

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers? theres bloggers??? um idk i love u nev so you count right @why-do-you-pick-flowers

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim? for a while everyone was mad as hell about “im gay for ___” and idk im gay for everything so thats a “slur” i use for myself

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it? ive never gone omg i’d probably be intimidated as hell like i have a lot of problems just existing so to be existing around very flamboyant and extravagant people like that makes me break into a nervous sweat

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you? ive always felt like a girl even tho my mom always said “oh you like boy things??? you should have been born a boy” but like, your likes and dislike dont determine your gender. i like “boy” things and “dress like a boy” but i dont FEEL like a boy. ive never had any desire to become a boy or id as a boy. gender is a social construct fuck society

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not? i have a very complicated relationship with children. babies are ugly and toddlers are annoying but i feel like if i had children i would love them obviously because theyre mine. this is gonna be a weird analogy but like i dislike cats. BUT i have cats. and i love the fuck outta them. so i feel like thatd be me with kids. but im ace so like.... who would even have kids with me. i could not. pregnancy seems like a hassle and adoption is... i have thoughts on that but thats for a different post. also i can see myself being married and not having children OR having kids without a spouse. theres just something complicated about having both??? maybe im just fucked in the head idk bro

What identity advice would you give your younger self? you dont hate girls you like them, dumbass

What do you think of gender roles in relationships? fuck gender roles. get pegged, bros. i also have a very specific dynamic if i ever got into a relationship (which you know. wont happen) but like if i dated a guy i feel like i’d be very top. a MAN telling ME what to do??? fuck that. but if i dated a pretty girl??? top me pls

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender? i think ive already said too much oh god someone is gonna look at this and be like what the FUCK but like lmao dont be afraid to ask me i apparently have no shame

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+? it’s scary at first because you think “im not normal” but like pray tell me what is normal. do what makes you happy. fuck society

Why are proud to be lgbt+? i’m comfortable with the people i like. i might not be very confident and i have depression, anxiety, self esteem issues, probs adhd or ocd idfk but at least i know if i see a pretty girl or smth im gonna be like wow that girl is pretty and have no bad thoughts about it. it’s just how it be. after a lot of dissecting my past behavior, ive always been this way. you cant change who you are. just accept it

#asks #nev you asked for this #oversharing??? me??? never #lgbt stuff #im gay yall

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alchemist-shizun · 6 years ago

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As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites

Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.

Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)

HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN

"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on

I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep

"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU

They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong

Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood

ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION

SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE

wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-

LOGAN'S HERE

"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg

"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete

"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway

Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though

"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE

"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.

4:17 Patton is adorable bye

"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP

great flick

"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that

YOU HIGH-JOCKED

okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired

WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen

OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT

W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that

"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"

First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY

Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST

"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?

SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.

"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??

"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"

a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene

this is gonna be stuck in my head all day

THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.

god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this

"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?

omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever

THE JUICY STUFF DANCE

"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all

GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him

"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES

pattonnnn did a real good job

THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes

"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)

GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING

WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"

"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that

JOAN

the forbidden dance

INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES

there u go thomas said it too

haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD

irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides

"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips

REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"

"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO

"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time

Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time

Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good

REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC

That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened

"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create

"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"

gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP

"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed

"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk

the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.

HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"

"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the

... the deodorant eating ...

DUKEY

The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is

Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.

"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING

LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP

"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man

THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT

what are they doing to him today let him rest

double blow

"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure

"shit"

THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU

"not all thoughts are meaningful"

He's go- no he's back again

THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?

"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?

"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"

"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that

I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter

why did Virgil look like he was about to cry

Patton I love you

Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see

Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie

"you tickle me emo"

"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will

ROMAAAAN

VIRGILS SMILE

"YOU'RE ALIVE"

"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO

"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other

"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.

I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.

that's my point.

All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive

"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it

Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much

"I don't like him" makes two of us

"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy

The m i r r o r it's making me cry

"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside

Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.

"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying

"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him

The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you

I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for

"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break

the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"

Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.

Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect

First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.

"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"

"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"

"Go to bed!" me

no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me

WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH

GAVIN BEST BOY EVER

and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL

I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.

oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)

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thehyperkraken · 6 years ago

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EDIT: yall idk why the actual fic isnt showing up in the tags but this shit is, bc thats literally the opposite of what i wanted, but for the love of god read the fic first and/or instead, that’s the thing i spent more than 20 minutes on: [link]

Hey random idea dump for that one fic i done did yeehaw... it’s almost longer than the fic itself but jesus christ i need to get these ideas out of my head and throw them into the internet ether, seriously don’t read this its a goddamn mess

So ghjkdf the actual plotty part of that fic came from that one b99 bit... the Bone one.....u kno

Arthur: Come on, Dutch. The O'Driscolls thing isn't the problem. You're in a bad mood because you've been so busy planning this heist that it's keeping you and Hosea apart. You two just need to bone. John: Oh no... Dutch: ...What did you say? John: Don't say it again! Arthur: I said you two need to bone. John: Oh my god... Dutch: (with barely contained fury) Hhhhhow Dare you Arthur Morgan, I am thIS GANG'S LEADER!!! You have NO RIGHT to comment on my sex life— (5 minutes later) Dutch, standing on top of a table screaming: BONE?!?!?! (10 minutes later) Dutch: What happens in my bedroom, son, is NONE of your business— (20 minutes later) Dutch, jumping up and down on the table: BOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!! (40 minutes later) Dutch: And don't EVER speak to me like that AGAIN! (storms off) John, sunken down in his chair in horror: Why the hell did you do that? Arthur: (shrugs) They need to bone. John: Gross, Arthur! That's our dads!

And then like a day later gfdhkg

John: Oh hey Dutch! I know you don't want to talk about Hosea, BUT, I had an idea— Dutch: No need, John, it's all good. John: So... your fight with Hosea is over? Dutch: Yep. John: Because you finally figured out a plan for the heist...? Dutch: Nope! Arthur, excitedly: Because you guys—? Dutch: Yyyyep! Arthur, looking smug: Knew it. John: Ugh... Arthur: (leans down close to him) See, what happened is, our dads had sex— John: UGH, SHUT UP!

Another inspiration I had was John Mulaney’s bit about zoning out for John with adhd,,,,, the part where he’s like “the doctor was reading me the results of a blood test, it was IMPORTANT that I LISTENED, but NO, I zoned out, I was like, I’m just gonna stare at the wall and think m’thoughts” that’s why I wrote the part where John was like “ehhh attention deficient something something disease” bc it made me laugh gjhggdjh

Dutch: so the doctor says you have ADHD John: (thinking about minecraft) what?

Also unrelated but blease consider Arthur teaching John to drive like

Arthur: are you watching the road? John: ........I am looking through the windshield Arthur: John: .......and I’m not gonna hit anyone...... Arthur: John: ....but no. I’m thinkin’ about minecraft

(Also I don’t know anything about ssb I’ve played it once and hated it, minecraft is my og video game love, but Abigail beating John at ssb is funnier, I’m a fake gamer boy :^( rip)

ONE MORE INSPIRATION THAT ONE VINE ITS MY FAVORITE VINE

Arthur: are you drinking coke for breakfast? John: yeah, what did you have for breakfast? Arthur: ........nothing John: (sipping his drink) I’m doing better than you, then

Anyway onto ACTUAL IDEA STUFF HOORAY

So when Dutch and Hosea decided to adopt, they agreed they wanted to take in kids who needed good homes the most, so they were specifically looking for older kids who would probably age out of the system and wind up on the streets

They met Arthur who was a clearly depressed and gender non conforming thirteen year old who hated everyone and everything and wasn’t getting the Love he Deserved, and Dutch was like “I want THAT ONE, with the SAD EYES”

Arthur tried to push them away at first, cuz he absolutely didn’t trust anyone, and some part of him believed they’d just give him right back up for adoption if he disappointed them in any way. But he eventually learned that they were good guys who really just wanted to help him, and they weren’t gonna abandon him if he wasn’t the perfect kid they always wanted

(he probably told them about this fear eventually and Hosea just snorted and was like “if we wanted a perfect kid we woulda got a cabbage patch doll. something that wouldn’t scream or make a mess” and Dutch was like “yeah! or like a 27 year old with a job and their own house and kids of their own. pre-made grandkids” and Hosea was like “or a cat” and Arthur was like “...okay”)

Anyway it took a loooong time but Arthur eventually trusted them enough to come out to them as trans, without really knowing the proper words for everything, just knowing that He Is A Boy And That’s That. As much as Hosea is the one the lads go to to talk about stuff and get comfort and Wise Dad Advice, he probably told Dutch first bc he was more uncertain how he’d respond and he wanted to get it over with in the worst way possible.... like, if they were gonna react badly, heap all the bullshit on in one fell swoop

I imagine he did it off the cuff too, in response to something Dutch said, like Dutch was like “u get back here right now young lady” and Arthur was like “first of all I’m not a lady, I’m a BOY, and second of all FUCK you, I do what I WANT” and Dutch was like “groovy. you’re grounded.” Arthur was like (offended) “don’t say groovy... don’t try to be hip” and Dutch was like “no it’s totally tubular that ur a boy. It’s absolutely funky. You’re fucking grounded though”

Then he went and told Hosea like “congrats! it’s a boy” and they helped him transition and they didn’t tolerate a single person misgendering him the whole time. Like before he’s even begun transitioning, they’re literally at the doctors office to discuss it w/ their doc for the first time, and a nurse is like “ms. morgan?” And Dutch is like “INCORRECT” and the doctor is like “what seems to be the problem (deadname)?” and Dutch is like “FOOL! THIS CHILD WAS LABELED INACCURATELY, WE REQUIRE A GENDER RETRACTION” and Hosea’s like “please stop yelling”

Anyway probably about a year later they got John when he was ten and Arthur was fifteen. Arthur was a little bit jealous like, wow, am I not enough kid for u, but Dutch and Hosea always planned on getting at least two bc they wanted them to have siblings, and they know John came from a pretty abusive situation, so Arthur can’t be too mad at him. At least until he met John and realized what a fucking brat he is

Since John was younger and way more desperate for affection, he immediately loved Dutch and Hosea just bc they were nice to him, he was ready to call them his dads within the month but he was nervous that it was too soon and they’d be weirded out. But I imagine he got triggered by something and had a meltdown and they got to see just a glimpse of what he’d been through, and Dutch and Hosea were falling over themselves trying to comfort him and tell him they love him and now I’m making myself cry :’^(

Anyway... from that point on John was like “these are the only dads I’ve ever had and I would kill a man for them.” He gets in trouble quite a bit bc he’s Naughty, but Dutch and Hosea always make sure to punish him fairly and never yell or be physically intimidating with him or permanently take away his stuff, like they make him do chores to earn back the right to use the xbox or something. And they always explain to him exactly what he did wrong and why he’s being punished and talk to him about how he can make it better or what he can do next time, or if there’s a root problem, like he’s acting out bc he’s overwhelmed with school work or smthn, how they can help him. Especially after he gets diagnosed with ADHD

And of course they do all this with Arthur too, but they make a special concerted effort with John bc he’s The Baby :^) and Dutch somehow maintains an attitude of “idk what ur talking about, John has never done anything wrong ever in his life” every time he gets in trouble meanwhile Hosea is like “what do you MEAN, he’s a GREMLIN” fjfjfhhf

Arthur was probably diagnosed with depression and anxiety at some point... it was probably a long process to get him to even admit he had a problem bc he didnt wanna bother anyone... Arthur also probably came from an abusive situation from the way canon Arthur talks about his dad, but Arthur is much more the type to be like “i’m gonna keep all my feelings inside, and then one day, i’ll die” whereas John is like “i will SCREAM if i get a papercut”

[EDIT: i woke up in a cold sweat at 4 AM with this in my head so now i’m putting it here

Charles: So, Arthur... Do you wanna talk about your feelings? Arthur: No. John: I do! :) Charles: ...I know, John. John: I’m sad! :) Charles: I know, John.

i’m sure it’s been done before but it’s so good. ok now back to our regularly scheduled programming]

In regards to Arthur being trans, John doesn’t really Get It, Arthur tried to explain it to him once and John couldn’t care less, all he knows is Arthur used to be a girl or something, there’s tea involved probably, and John is thinking about minecraft again... he has 2 am thoughts about it sometimes and comes to Arthur like “what IS gender” and Arthur’s just like “hm. big mood”

Dutch is “Dad” and Hosea is “Papa” or “Pa” or “Pops” or “Dad, No Not You, The Other One” or “Other Dad.” Hosea really doesn’t mind at all, he wouldn’t care if the kids called him Hosea or mom or anything else, it truly isnt important to him. But Dutch Loves being Dad. Every time they call Dutch Dad he grows three times stronger and 10 years are added to his lifespan. Dutch is an Alpha Parent, he 100% goes to every parent teacher conference and bake sale, he’d go to every game and concert too if either of his kids had a single athletic or musical bone in their dumb little bodies. I guess the school probably hosts art galleries sometimes to display art the kids make, Arthur always has a drawing in one of those, and Dutch will absolutely go just to brag about his cool son.

Dutch is the Fun Energetic Dad who embarrasses the boys in front of their friends but can always be talked into taking them out to get ice cream. Hosea is the more quietly anxious dad, he makes sure they do their homework and keep their rooms clean and shit, and he's the one the kids always go to talk to when they’re having problems... like Arthur will rant for an hour and a half about high school drama and Hosea will patiently listen to all of it and when he's done he’ll offer to kick the other kids’ asses for him, and Arthur’s like lmao but Hosea Means It.

Hosea is also the one the kids go to for help on their homework because Hosea and Dutch have five brain cells between them, and four of them belong to Hosea. Dutch is like “suddenly I don’t remember basic math, time to make shit up” and Hosea is like “I must become an expert on 1820s Chinese history in two days for my beautiful sons”

I have NO idea what either of their jobs are, I wanna say Hosea is a lawyer or smthn but idk, Dutch is probably like......................a used car salesman LMAO...... they clearly make a lot of money (or maybe STOLE SOME) bc I gave them a huge house w/ a pool gjhkdhg

Anyway more about THE KIDS

They go to a school that is a combination middle school and high school, bc that’s what my school was like

Mrs. Grimshaw is the strict and irritable principal with a secret soft spot for kids, Mr. Pearson is the cafeteria cook, Strauss works in the office, I wanna say Rev. Swanson is a weird but friendly janitor or something lmao. Uncle is Dutch & Hosea’s annoying forever-drunk neighbor who everyone barely tolerates fjfjhfh

Micah is The School Bully but like bc this is a cutesy high school au and I can do what I want, he’s not actually like a violent racist or anything he’s just a bad mad sad kid who is a huge dick

Bill is Micah’s Bully Henchman, he’s generally not as much of a dick as Micah is, but he punches whoever Micah asks him to bc they are the closest thing to friends that either of them have

Trelawny is a new student who just moved from another school and he’s that fucking Weird Magician Kid who can’t hold a conversation longer than five seconds without saying “wanna see a magic trick,” tried to do some unimpressive card tricks for the school talent show, unironically wears a cape, etc.... Arthur stood up for him when he was getting pushed around by Micah and Bill so now Arthur has +1 more weird friend

Karen is the Popular Girl who somehow knows everyone, is probably a cheerleader, everyone is either extremely intimidated by her or thinks she’s gonna be a stuck up bitch, but she’s actually just super fucking chill and nice, WILL stab a man for her friends, she won’t hesitate bitch

Tilly is Karen’s bff who was getting bullied by *shakes fist* those dang foreman brothers.... Karen stood up for her and Tilly was like “no don’t u will get hurt!!” and Karen was like “ha... fool... cheerleaders cannot die” and whooped ass with her gymnastics skills and somehow got the foreman brothers expelled. So now Tilly is like “I owe u one (1) Life Debt” but Karen is like “nah it’s chill just come to target w/ me & we’ll call it even.” Tilly is just tryna get shit done and do her damn homework but everybody else is going on adventures and being nuisances so of course Tilly has to go too bc come on....... who do you take her for, some kinda two-bit GEEK? NO WAY

Mary Beth is a quiet nerdy girl who’s always reading or writing and never talks in class or anything. Karen and Tilly became her friends thru sheer brute force, Karen just sat by her one day n was like “sup” and Mary Beth was too shy to ask her to leave. They were surprised to discover Mary Beth is actually pretty nice and funny when you get to know her and also the Biggest Lesbian Alive

Sadie is a BAD BITCH... NOBODY fucks with Sadie, not even Micah, Sadie is the girl who when some dipshit boy spreads a rumor that he had sex with her, she agrees and tells everyone she pegged him and he cried after, she hasn’t given a fuck since 2007. she climbs on the roof to get lost frisbees. one time she got the gym coach to agree to give her an automatic A in the class if she did 100 push ups in 5 minutes. Then she Did That. She might have pulled several muscles in both of her arms but She Did That. Karen, Tilly, and Mary Beth (but mostly Karen) approached her like “damn that was sick” and Sadie was like “yea i know” and then they were friends

I literally don’t know anything about Sean I’m sorry...... maybe he’s a transfer student who becomes friends with John, they play Minecraft together and Sean boobytraps the houses John builds. Sean is the only living human being who understands how redstone works and he uses his powers for evil

Molly is going to a nearby community college and is working at the high school part time as a TA and she is like 19-20 or smthn so the kids all think she’s The Hottest Shit,,,, like they think she’s just the coolest hippest person alive, but also she is Very Attractive so fuckin everybody has a crush on her, most specifically Javier and Mary Beth. She ineptly tries to flirt with Dutch every time he comes to a parent teacher conference bc she’s dummy thicc and thinks it’s friendship goals that Dutch lives with and has adopted children with his Best Bud Hosea

The teacher Molly is TA for is Charles Chatenay, an all-grades art teacher who takes his job WAY too seriously, like dude chill they’re high schoolers. His class is where Arthur met Albert, bc Arthur loves drawing and obviously Albert loves photography. They were both like “wow he’s cute” but were too shy to talk to each other for more than basic pleasantries, until one day Albert’s Big Project was ruined a day or two before he was gonna turn it in, and Arthur helped him fix it.

They’re so sweet on each other it’s unbearable, they’re both Soft Boys so they fuckin blush if they make eye contact...... the most bold either of them get is when Arthur is feeling insecure about his body and Albert gladly tells him how perfect and handsome he is in every way, and he wishes he was half as gorgeous as Arthur is, and Arthur is like (offended) um, excuse me, how dare u insult my beautiful boyfriend in this way?? They both wanna grow beards so while they’re still going thru Changes they excitedly bond over their facial hair......... they run up to each other at school like LOOK AT MY NEW CHIN HAIR and the other one is like WOW!!! GOOD JOB

Javier has a big lovely family who spoil him rotten and tbh love to spoil his friends when they come over too, his parents are in a constant and devastating game of dish-gifting with Dutch & Hosea, Arthur and John have eaten more of Mr. & Mrs. Escuella’s tamales than any other food, neither Dutch nor Hosea are very good cooks but luckily Javier has plenty of aunts and uncles and cousins who are happy to occasionally take one of their unimpressive lasagnas or cakes from a box mix

Lenny’s cool dad in canon is the high school au dad of Charles and Lenny, he and Charles’s mom amicably divorced and he got remarried to Lenny’s mom, who is a Cool Stepmom to Charles. Charles and Lenny go stay with Charles’s mom all the time, in fact she was around so much when they were younger that she practically helped raise them both. maybe she gets a gf and Charles and Lenny have so many moms and are so loved & cherished like they fuCKIN DESERVE

Kieran is the weird horse girl at school, he’s Lenny’s age, they become friends when they’re forced to sit next to each other and they’re both too awkward and shy to say anything until they’re paired up on a project together bc everyone else in the class already paired up and they were the only ones left gjkhfd.... John wants to dislike Kieran bc Lenny is HIS friend now, but Kieran is a sweet lad with a mean dad.... His dad is Colm O’Driscoll, Dutch & Hosea’s other neighbor and Dutch’s sworn enemy

Dutch expects Kieran to be as shitty as his dad, but he is a SWEET BOY, and as soon as they realize his situation, they tell Kieran he can come over whenever he wants and spend the night any time, he doesn’t have to ask or anything, but Kieran is super respectful and always asks permission and always tries to come over when John or Arthur are there so he can go under the pretense of hanging out with them, bc he doesn’t wanna intrude...

Once he came over when Hosea was the only one home and he was like “hi Mr. Matthews are John and Arthur home” and Hosea was like “no sorry they’re out” and Kieran was like “oh... ok sorry I’ll just go then” and Hosea was like “absolutely not” and brought Kieran in and made him snacks and wrapped him in many blankets and watched a kids movie with him until he fell asleep on the couch... when Dutch came home he was like “??? new son ???” and Hosea was like “yea I guess. oops”

When Kieran gets older they help him become an emancipated minor and get a job and his own place (even tho he knows they’d let him stay with them if he wanted) and he changes his last name to his mom’s maiden name Duffy... Colm and Dutch glare at each other over their fences and Colm is like “enjoying stealing my son?” and Dutch is like “my son now” but Colm really doesn’t care bc he’s an asshole... and even tho they don’t legally adopt him, Kieran’s like “I’m more of a Van der Linde than an O’Driscoll” and oops i’m making myself cry again :’)

And yes Abigail does eventually teach John how to play stupid super smash bros. She’s Pro Gamer level of competent at nearly all video games and John has the biggest heart eyes for her, the end thank u for listening

#the suffering of john marston. 13 #filler tag 1 #filler tag 2 #morgason #trans arthur morgan #vandermatthews #rdr2

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jui-imouto-chan · 6 years ago

Text

Part 10 of the Mostly Human AU

Level Select:

Getting through to the last of the suggestions from @manadrite ‘s most recent comment (as of posting this)! I love having suggestions, keep ‘em coming!

Connor isn’t one to get terribly scared. He actually gets a thrill from scary situations.

His sense of self-preservation is startlingly low, for a being granted with immeasurable intelligence. At least, that’s what Hank claims.

Furthermore, Connor loves Horror. From movies to novels to images, he loves things made to be scary.

- Connor may or may not have had a weird crush on Slenderman for like a week.

Maybe it was the towering height and the lack of a face, or maybe it was the slim fitting suit that made the creature so appealing to him.

Okay maybe Connor has a suit kink.

When he sees Gavin in an officer’s clothing and finds the man slightly attractive, it’s clear that he just straight (pfft) up has a uniform kink.

Connor will take this newfound information to the g r a v e.

Connor goes to see a horror movie with Hank and the twins, and he’s ecstatic.

He puts all of the pieces together detective style to figure out how the protagonists are either gonna die or solve the problem while Collin and Conan grip their seats a bit too tight and while Hank mutters flaws about the movie under his breath.

“This scene does not include a lap dance.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

By the end of the movie, Collin and Conan had migrated to partially hide behind Connor, and Connor points this out to them.

They lie and say they were getting sleepy, and were dozing off on his seat.

Connor goes with it with a knowing smirk and a wink, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

Connor goes missing one day.

They try to give him a call when he they don’t see him that morning, but they receive no answer.

Hank and the twins storm through the house, upturning furniture and looking under the beds, in the closets, outside. He’s nowhere to be found.

They call up all of his friends, but nobody knows where he is.

The DCPD gets at least fifteen calls all at once reporting Connor missing.

While everyone is freaking out, Connor is actually, in fact, not missing.

He is out for a walk, Sumo at the vet’s for a check up and grooming, and he spots an animal shelter/pet shop.

There are dogs and cats in cages by the windows, and Connor gravitates towards them without thought to anything else.

He enters the shop and, after talking with the person behind the counter for ten minutes, is surrounded by animals, all vying for his attention.

He’d never seen a cat before this, and honestly, he now holds cats to the same regard as dogs.

It’s his first time seeing a lot of animals, all of them immensely cute. He giggles when a rabbit nibbles on his pointer finger.

The employee who allowed this to happen is melting against the counter, everything is too much. Too cute.

The employee pulls out a camera and records, knowing the manager would love to use this as an ad.

Connor already gave his consent for any media that his interaction might appear in, so it’s all gucci, even though Connor’s too preoccupied with the animals to even realize he’s being recorded.

Connor is there for a few hours, all of the time considered blissful to the android.

The video was sent to the editor as soon as the employee got clips of Connor interacting with each and every one of the animals.

It's edited impressively quickly, yet still professionally; the editor accredited it to “passion”.

When the ad goes up on all of the shelter/shop ‘s social media, with Connor tagged in the photo, everything halts.

Connor finally registers that his phone, being sat on by two guinea pigs, is ringing.

He answers it, and is disappointed when he's told to return home immediately by Hank. Hank sounds angry, distressed, and relieved all at once.

The employee reassures him, telling him that he can return whenever he’d like.

There’s an issue when Connor is on his way home, however, as he gets attacked.

A man tries to mug him with a knife to his throat, pushing him into an alleyway, and while Connor manages to push him away, he doesn’t anticipate the man having accomplices.

He gets a few surprise stab wounds that go into some biocomponents, but their timers are set to at least an hour before he shuts down.

He defeats his attackers and sends Hank his location, telling him that he needs emergency care needs to be taken to Kamski as soon as possible.

His systems kick him into sleep mode against a cold alley wall to preserve thirium, which leaks copiously from his many wounds.

Connor wakes up to the ceiling of Kamski’s “operating” room, vaguely wondering if the past few months had been the equivalent of a dream, if he had imagined all of the friends he’d made and all of the things he’d experienced.

The thought...saddens Connor.

Luckily, a few minutes after he awakens, he hears Hank’s gruff voice and a plethora of footsteps approaching the room he’s in.

Connor goes to sit up, but winces in pain. His movement brings up a prompt, asking if he’d like to interface with the android equivalent of an IV, though it contains a liquid that promotes self-reparation at the cost of his mental capabilities being lowered until his wounds are healed.

TL;DR, it’s the closest Connor can get to pain killing medication.

He accepts the interface and he suddenly feels...oddly happy?

Everything is moving around the slightest bit and Connor can’t help but smile. Everything was great and he was having fun, sitting on the table.

He giggles drunkenly.

His wounds are slowly closing themselves, and he scoots to the edge of the table while humming an unknown tune. He smiles triumphantly once his knees finally hang over the edge, he kicks them and rocks his head side to side.

When everyone enters the room, he’s surrounded by people and get-well gifts and he’s just so happy. He really doesn’t think of the consequences of his actions.

So that’s exactly why he thanks them all with hugs and kisses, skin tingly and buzzing while his chest feels warm and full.

The members of Jericho are frozen when he gives them all kisses to the cheek, and then all of them simultaneously slap a hand onto their cheek and stare at each other with pink faces. Daniel and Simon both duck their heads while Josh pulls his hood over his face and rugs on the drawstrings. North is suddenly more occupied with poking Markus’ red cheeks and teasing him as he shakes.

Hank tries to fight him off, but eventually relents, ruffling his hair bashfully. Conan and Collin both turn their heads as he approaches their cheeks, leading to him kissing both of them on the lips, though he just laughs good naturedly when they both nod at each other and go to opposite sides of the room, ears red.

Ralph and the Jerrys are surprisingly shy when Connor kisses them, but Ralph gives him a kiss on the cheek back, while the Jerrys all rub their necks and look away with silly grins.

Luther and Kara let Alice take their share of kisses, and she presses a kiss to Connor’s nose.

Rupert tries to escape Connor, but the brunette grabs his sleeve and gives him a kiss to the temple. Rupert immediately tries to flee the room, and Connor waves. Rupert hesitates before waving back and running away.

Connor goes to give Gavin a kiss, too, but the detective shoves a homemade cupcake in his mouth before he can. He still manages to give the guy a hug, though.

Kamski approaches, by Connor’s hug and kiss for him are stolen by Chloe, who had just snapped out of her shock at seeing Connor surrounded by a goddamn harem.

She growls at everyone in the room, sans Alice, Hank, Kara, and Luther.

Kamski is kinda concerned?? People don’t growl like that, wtf.

Also, he’s kinda upset that she’s keeping him from getting affection from his own creation but he’s not about to let his head get ripped off today

Chloe says that there’s too many people in the room, it’s getting late, and that Connor should get some more rest so that he can recover completely.

She tries to sound pleasant, but she really just sounds threatening af

Once she’s sufficiently scared the fuck out of everyone there and gotten them to leave, she puts her hands on Connor’s shoulders and tries to explain that nobody is allowed to touch him bc he’s too precious and, “nobody deserves you. This world doesn’t deserve you. The G-Man in the sky doesn’t even deserve you u pure boi.”

He doesn’t remember a word of this in the morning, but Chloe doesn’t know that.

He goes home in Hank’s car, Sumo already back from the vet and now laying across his lap, and finds out that Conan and Collin are at registration for their next year of college

(lol idk if thats something u have to go do at college, im 15 and clueless)

Next Level: College Care Packages and Birthday Parties (suggested by @supposedlymatureadult )

X | Continue to Next Level

O | Save Progress and Quit to Main Menu

————————————— •

I think I got carried away with the kissing but I just really wanted Connor to be overly affectionate. At least I didn’t go down the sexual route.

Leave suggestions in the notes or in my ask, along with any questions, comments, and anything else!

Side note: If you want to receive notice of this AU but not the other random things I post/reblog (don’t worry I‘m not offended if that’s the case), I’m marking them all with #Jui’s Mostly Human AU in the tags, so you can follow that instead if that’s preferable!

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bambamsgotjams · 7 years ago

Text

Badboy!Chan

okay so i’ve had this idea in my google docs for a long time now

and for some reason i just never got around to completing it???

so i hope you all enjoy it because it’s been in here for months and its time for me to start posting more content on my blog

chan is basically known as the scariest man on the university campus

well maybe not the scariest

but defiantly the most intimidating guy you’ll ever meet

what really gives off his intimidating vibe is mainly all of the dark clothing and chains he’s seen wearing around campus

like he basically lives in ripped jeans, leather jackets, and dark tshirts

he has some pretty curly gray hair that looks really nice with his tan skin

omf imagine this

bad boy bang chan with an eyebrow piercing

omg i would live for that

if it wasn’t for the fact that almost every student was terrified of him

all the ladies would probably be pinning over him and probs some of the men too tbh bc chan is a looker

but anyways chan is lowkey kind of offended that everyone is too scared to talk to him because he really isn’t that bad of a guy

his whole life he just kind of grew up with this thought that everyone loved bad boys

thats basically what his high school days taught him

but it turns out that he didn’t really need to change from his normal cute self to this bad boy but it was a little too late for that because everyone already had this attitude that chan was not someone anyone should mess with

he has a couple good friends that don’t mind him for his personality like his roommate woojin who knows the real chan after living with him in a dorm for almost 3 years

and new freshman changbin who looks up to chan and tries to act like a bad boy too but according to everyone else he fails and is basically just like a small kitten

and then savage smarty pants minho who could really careless about wtf chan wears and does

as long as he isn’t doing something stupid or something that he’ll regret because minho really does care about him a lot but he’d never admit that publicly

woojin, minho, and changbin are really the only friends that chan has and even though he wishes people would stop looking down upon him for his outside appearance he really does love and cherish the friends that he has

so basically half way though every year the student body holds this big ass part to celebrate finishing their finals

and even though there really should be adult supervision the professors and administration could care less

so you can basically put the pieces together and figure what kind of shit goes down

ding ding ding

thats right

lots of horny teenagers and alcohol

chan and woojin would normally go together for a couple minutes before everything turns into chaos

but this year the decided that for some goddamned reason that they would stay for a little longer

mainly to make fun of the way some of the drunk students would dance or act stupid and stuff

minho decided to stay in and work on homework minho you nerd

and changbin had been invited off campus for the weekend by his best friend felix to go check out this new arcade that was just put in a mall strip in their hometown

and this is where you come in fellow reader

you were just a new transfer student who had just finished their first sophomore semester on a brand new campus

you had tagged along with your roommate and her friends to the campus party

and wow were you overwhelmed

you guys had arrived at the party just as the chaos had started

and basically almost everyone there was either already tipsy or just flat out wasted

you had tried your best to stay close to your roommate so you wouldn’t get lost

but the crowd of people was just so pushy and everyone was literally all over the place so you did end up getting separated

for the sake of trying to stay away from the madness you headed off to the side of a small bar table and sat down on one of the benches

there wasn’t a whole lot of people around there expect for a couple playing a shot game, the bartender sighing because he rather would be doing something else, and these two boys who didn’t look too much older than you

one with dyed blonde hair who wore a pair of black skinny jeans and a grey hoodie

the other in all black with a silver chain, grey hair, and a very hot eyebrow piercing

you ended up making eye contact with the later and his gaze on your own made your blood pulse

he look kinda intimidating with his outer appearance but his eyes looked soft and inviting

you looked away and broke eye contact with him and you were basically blushing as red as a ripe strawberry

after a few more minutes of you just sitting at the bar watching everyone having fun

this weird smelling boy walked right up in front of you and flashed you a gummy looking smile

his body smelled terribly of alcohol and you wanted nothing more than to get out of there knowing that something bad was gonna happen

but of course the boy just had to speak up and pull you away, asking you to dance with him

you wanted so badly to object his offer but his grip on your arm was strong and you weren’t exactly the strongest girl yourself

he pulled you into the crowd of students dancing and he too began to dance around you

well more like he was dancing on top of you

you just kind of stood there as stiff as a pole and you were frozen in shock not knowing how to respond

it wasn’t until you felt him starting to grope your body when you tried slipping away

but he was too quick and held tightly onto your waist

you could feel him starting to slightly grind his body against yours and you were like

“yep this is how im gonna die”

you kindly asked the man to stop but he didn’t answer you so you got a little bit louder until you were basically yelling at him to stop

and then you felt him being ripped off your body

you were confused for a second and then turned around to see what exactly was happening

there was the boy who had been harassing you lying on the ground as the very attractive gray haired boy from the bar had his fist raised

the boy on the ground was huddled into fetal position with a red mark on his cheek

everyone around you turned to see what all the yelling was about and stopped to watch as your savior continued to beat up the boy

he only stopped once he saw your terrified eyes looking at him

he cursed to himself and looked to the boy on the ground back over to you before walking up to you and asking if you were okay

you stared at him in shock because wow this boy was even prettier up close

but also he did just beat the shit out of a boy on the ground

asshole deserved it

you nodded your head quickly and thanked him

you noticed as the grey haired boy suddenly started to become nervous and flustered as he rubbed the back of his neck

“c-can i walk you back to your dorm,,,,,you know,,,,in cause something else happens”

he suddenly would look less and less of a bad boy and more as a soft little lamb

you gave him a cute innocent smile and agreed to allow him to walk you back

he hesitantly reached for your hand and walked you back into the direction of the bar where the blonde boy stood smirking at the two of you

gray haired boy leaned over and whispered something in the blonde’s ear before leading you away, the blonde boy whistling behind him

you watched as the gray haired boy flushed pink

once you were a good feet away from the party the gray haired boy let go of your hand and apologized

you shook your head and told him there was no need to be sorry

the whole walk home he basically talked to you about how much he hates parties but was only there to watch the people for entertainment

you learned that his name was chan and that he was kind of known as this intimidating bad boy on the campus

but you were like ??? i don’t see it??? especially after how cute and flustered he was acting around you

and you too felt the need to tell him a little bit about you like what your name was and how you were a new transfer student and that you lost your roommate in the crowd and stuff

chan acted a little sympathetic towards you and then with a smile offered to show you around campus sometime

and of course you agreed because honestly who wouldn’t agree to spending the day with a really attractive man

and with that you arrived at your dorm

but you didn’t part ways without getting his number first,,,

everything after that seemed to escalate pretty quickly

you didn’t really understand why people chose to be afraid of chan without getting to know him first because he was truly a really sweet guy

you also become pretty close friends with woojin and changbin

it took minho a little bit to warm up to you but according to chan he’s just a pretty cautious guy who would do anything for his friends

besides chan you probably got along with changbin the best with both of you having a mutual admiration for chan

apparently you were pretty oblivious to the way chan treated you

according to woojin’s words chan was absolutely whipped for you

and you didn’t really believe it at first because why would chan like this average college student who couldn’t even afford to buy ramen

but it turns out that woojin was right

chan started doing little things in hopes of making you fall for him and understand his feelings

like he would go out of his bad boy character to the flower shop down the road and buy you cute little daisies

which you really admired and appreciated

after a couple months of pining after you and woojin practically forcing him to declare his undying love for you he finally confessed

he took you to the local coffee shop and told you everything he felt

and lucky for him you returned his feelings

bad boy chan as a boyfriend would be so cute omg

he would be pretty protective over you and always offer to walk you to your classes even though it would make him late to his own

which he didn’t mind because the teachers already expected that out of him

he would always lend you his hoodies and leather jackets if you got cold

and omg they would be large on you and his heart would melt at the way they just seemed to swallow you whole

you were the best thing that had ever happened to chan and he loved that you weren’t quick to judge him for his appearance

and you accepted him for who he was and made him feel like he didn’t have to look dark and menacing for people to like him

when he first introduced you to his family they immediate opened up to you

they loved how much you cherished and appreciated their son for who he was and the way he was

you found out from his little sister that you were the first girlfriend that her channie oppa had ever had

and he was a blushing mess as he tried to keep her quiet

you simpily giggled and kissed his cheek telling him that you felt honored to be big bad channie’s first girlfriend ;)

being with chan had really changed you just as you did with him

he no longer felt the need to hide his real self away from people and he actually made an attempt to talking to people first

which of course did freak them out because everyone still had this strange fear over him

but seeing chan with an average girlfriend did get people to warm up to him better

especially after they saw how sweet and caring he was towards you

and honestly bad boy chan would just be literally the best boyfriend ever i dare you guys to fight me on this

#stray kids #bang chan #kim woojin #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #stray kids reactions #kpop #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #jype

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ocean-butch · 6 years ago

Note

How is cas different from ur other girlfriends

akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8

the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.

okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.

first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.

like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.

okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).

and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.

HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.

and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.

but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.

#according to my girlfriend i spent over 2 hours writing this #AltHouGh #she DID distract me a few times bc she was being cute #and i love her #wow i love her #i know anon is definitely not gonna read this but my girl will alhajska #mine #answered #anon #luna

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willgayers · 7 years ago

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Some reddie headcanons?? Like having a cozy night together or smthng

you got it!!!

made this modern time hope it’s ok

— ok so if it’s happening at eddie’s (which it usually is) then he’s constantly gonna have to tell richie to shut up so that his mom won’t wake up

— if it’s happening at richie’s, it’s usually (always) only bc his parents weren’t home and he was feelin like shit cause there was most likely a fight between them and richie so eddie goes there to be a comforting bf

— each way there’s always popcorn or pizza or something (unless they too depressed to eat which is sad and more of that later) idk it was always richie’s idea but eddie didn’t fight and eventually eddie would be the one to be like “hey let’s order pizza” and richie would just nod and think to himself like “i did it”

(LIKE THIS)

— richie thinks ananas belongs in pizza

— LOTS OF CUDDLES

— like im telling you they’re constantly all over each other

— they’d both be scrolling thru their phones silently on a bed with eddie between richie’s arms pressed against his chest THIS IS CANON

— they’d just snort at memes and show them to each other, the other one would laugh and then they’d go back to their own phones again

— if they wouldn’t just show them then they’d just tag them and wait for them to see ,, if it was a real funny one they’d just wait in anticipation for the other one’s reaction which usually leads to a long shared laugh

— losers club group chat would be a lot of ugly selfies from the two of them and/or sneaky photos of the other one from bad angles

— one of their friends would always go “if u guys r hanging out then why r u on ur phone”

— then richie would mock them in that spongebob way iF u GuYs R hAnG- u know

— anyway once they’re done with their phones they’d probably make out for a while (the whole night tbh) bc cute!reddie!kisses are everything

— if it was a depressed night™ , they’d just be each other’s personal therapists and i imagine them sitting opposite each other on a bed and just talkin thru stuff

— … ok honestly the first time richie was really sad was also the first time eddie suggested they get pizza which obvs really cheered richie up

— if it’s eddie who’s feeling sad there will be so many cuddles and forehead/hair kisses and hair strokes from richie he’s just gonna drown his bf in love

— bc eddie a better talker and richie just a better listener

— movie time!! they’d probably go for all types of genres tbh,, horror movies maybe not so much but every time it was a horror movie they’d love to rant about how stupid the characters were and how they handled their personal horror movie so much better and eventually they’d just end up dissing the whole movie

— so it’s usually romantic movies and/or action maybe lol?? but let me tell u they both love the notebook so they’d watch it ,, cuddling obviously ,, and richie would play with eddie’s hair p much the whole time

— if it’s not their favorite movie then expect a lot of “why’d he do that” “is he fuckin stupid???” “who even is that girl” “WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK” “wait what’s going on” etc from richie

— “richie,,, i haven’t seen this movie either”

— “no kidding i thought you directed it”

— richie definitely took a snap to my story about his pov which is eds and the tv and captioning it with something very extra cheesy like “movie nights with my fav boy 💓💖💗💕💞💓💘”

— ofc everyone thinks he’s just mocking the couples who write stuff like that to social media 24/7 but secretly richie means it and wishes he could just 💓💞💕💘💖💗💖💕💓💕💘💗 @ eddie irl

— about that,,, you know the meme where the bratz girl is all heart emojis when she gets a message from a boy?? yeah well that’s reddie and it goes either way

(if u dont…. here)

— anyway after the movie is done it’s already very late so there are either THREE THINGS that will happen next,

— 1. they’re v tired and go to sleep already ,, ok im v positive that eddie will bring the both of them glasses of cold water to the night table in case they get thirsty during the night bc he care

— richie is the big spoon and eddie is the small spoon UNLESS !!! richie is v sad and just wants eddie to hold him while he sobs :’( bc he’s having a bad day??? bc the dog in the movie died??? the world may never know

— but not to be sad now ,,, yeah they’re obvs always cuddling and ofc there are ‘i love you’s before they fall asleep

— 2. talking!! i feel like this would happen the most bc there’s just a lot of stuff for these two to talk about and they both just love lying in the bed and just talking and laughing and talking on and on and on until

— “is that the sun”

— honestly they just don’t wanna go to sleep bc they wanna be with each other 24/7 bc they’re each other’s favorite persons 💕💕💕

— 3. And last but not least ,, being realistic im sure NSFW stuff would go down too once they’re older but thats a hc for someone else to write lol

TAG LIST: @nopetaking @xbell22 @donthateonk8 @stenbroughbros @reddiebrekmyheart@itsgreywaterrichie @donvex @blueeyespurpleskies @ageorgymi @oh-youre-the-worst@eddiekaaspbraak @oldfashionedvanilla @rissyq @richietoaster @edskasqbrak @waterlouis @wyattghouleff @urtury @bukiminajimu @kcutieeesblog @stansmansuris @adorefack @reddieaddict @icyeyes102

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #hcs

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chickenfetus · 7 years ago

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ALL!!!! (also the gemini sqUAD LOL)

im gonna enjoy a nice cup of water while doing this bc idk a tea (update i didnt drink water at all and now im dying of thirst,, also undercut bc many)

1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets?

i dont wake up early enough to see the sunrise and when i do i never manage to take pics bc of school so peachy sunsets

2: Sugar cones or waffle cones?

idk what a sugar cone is but i like waffle cones!!! havent eaten ice cream with a cone in forever though,, i rarely eat ice cream now

3: Do you wear scarves often? do you have a favorite?

listen…. its about 33 degrees everyday but even if im in a colder country i dont wear scarves

4: How long do you lay in bed before you finally get up?

this depends?? on how motivated im feeling lmao never more than 10 minutes though because if i lay awake for that long ill just fall back asleep

5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try?

i dont think so?? im bad at trying new things especially food

6: What does your umbrella look like?

i dont.. go outside often and whenever i do i take public transport so basically everythings sheltered so i never had a need for umbrellas

7: Do you listen to ASMR?

ive only listened to one everybody please listen to this gift

8: Rain storms or a light drizzle?

both, preferably when im indoors

9: What’s a little thing in life that you love?

hm??????????? my tags lmao

UPDATE: i also really like reading other people’s tags and their rambles that is all

10: Favorite color aesthetic?

does the word aesthetic make this question any different from a normal favourite colour question???? if it doesnt then sky blue

11: Wobbly lines or using a ruler?

in this house we draw lines with no ruler like men (but also because even if i did use a ruler it wouldnt be like… straight idk i cant use rulers

12: Bright colorful living room or neutral cozy living room?

neutral cozy living room but i also love basking in sunlight

13: Do you have any candles? what scents are they?

im not a big fan of heavy smelling products so i dont own any candles

14: Have you ever rode a horse?

i dont think so??????? ive seen horses before though

15: Do you have glasses?

without my glasses i wouldnt be able to read these questions lmao and . .. theyre also a result of watching pokemon too closely to the tv at a young age… its been like 10 years since i got glasses

16: What’s a language you’d like to speak?

japanese i tried speaking it but i got 2 embarrassed to say anything properly while i was in japan (i cant even speak english properly to a friend whyd i think i could speak another language to a stranger beats me)

17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season?

my singaporean no season ass: ? but autumn and november (is this cutting it too close to winter? idk my seasons)

18: Do you have a favorite pair of socks?

hm not really i just wear blue ankle socks a lot but my friend did give me a pair of pokemon and gudetama socks before and i adore those although i lost the gudetama ones in the uk last year she got me another pair whatd i do to deserve her?

19: Favorite Ghibli and/or disney movie

m .. um? big. hero 6??????

20: Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar?

my dumb ass didnt know they were different

21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater?

i rarely go and watch movies anymore but when i did watch a lot of movies with my friend at the theater we’d get afternoon shows and sneak mcdonalds in lmao

22: What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition?

how about band? day6 i only ever play pokemon + sif + bandori so i cant say much and i rarely watch movies and a show? if its an anime id say the one i mentioned before in my one text post

23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb?

not really rip

24; All plants are great but do you have a favorite?

HM mmmmmm there was this one but i forgot the name lmao pass

25: Do you have a favorite type of art style? (eg: soft looking, no to little color, sketches, crisp and clean, minimalist, pixel art etc.)

when im the … audience? what do u call it???? i like seeing all kinda of art styles!!! everyone has their own unique art style and i love it all :o

for ME,, , ive been doing art for 6 years maybe and i still cant do shit

26: What would you do if someone gave you flowers?

i would die straight up die thats such a soft concept i cant imagine myself receiving flowers thats 2 sweet oh my god wtf id combust??? i prefer leaves though is that weird i picked some nice leaves recently and im gonna give those to my friends

27: Do you like nicknames?

giving and having nicknames is my favorite past time

28: Do you still watch shows you watched when you were a kid? even from time to time?

pokemon lmao thank u 4 not ending it…. the animation has only improved and im so proud to have been watching it since the start pokemon is my special thing i love it so much!! an interest that never died down, with an anime that stays super like idk to my preference? i tried watching the new digimon stuff but i just couldnt :^( im glad they made ash stay the main character

29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth)

never forget dat boi

30: Favorite Halloween costume you dressed up as? (if you don’t celebrate halloween have you ever cosplayed or would you like to? who did you cosplay as?)

we dont celebrate halloween and i would never cosplay, big shoutout to cosplayers though!!! they put in so much effort and just, respect!!!!!

i dont know if this is an actual memory because i dont remember well but when i was younger i thiNK? i had to dress up as a swan thing i have no clue i dont even remember the performance but i might have had to ?? and dance??? or act i dont remember everythings fuzzy but i dressed up a swan once? in kindergarten ?????

31: Are you a fashionable person?

i have the worst fashion sense and even though jeans are nice once again the weather here doesnt allow me to be as fashionable as i can be

32: Do you like watching holiday movies?

not realyyy??? the jack frost (rip) movie was ncie????

33: Cookies or brownies?

i live 4 chocolate chip cookies but too much is . . not preferable

34: Do you blow in the cold air just to see your breath?

no i hate breathing in & out from my mouth

35: Do you find the crickets chirping outside your window relaxing?

WELL from the great cockroach ordeal last night id probably die bc we live in an apartment building so the only way id be hearing crickets would be if they were in the ROOM

36: Do you like cobblestone streets?

my only knowledge of cobblestone is from minecraft so idk

37: How often do you doodle?

when school was still relevant i would doodle as soon as i picked up a pencil lmao i try not to anymore bc i doodled on my math assignment and forgot to fucking erase it and my math teacher called me out

38: When was the last time you blew bubbles?

a year ago?? i dont remember but i do remember when i was younger id try and blow bubbles at the void deck do yall kno what that is its just a space near the lift lobby anyway i swallowed the soap thing idk u know how ur supposed to blow? well i sucked the soap in yum

39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room?

in my room its the bed and in the house its the water bottle that contains water

40: Do you bite your fingernails off or clip them more often?

i………………………… i dont actualy kno how to clip my nails and my mum would kill me if i tried but i dont bite my nails either

41: Any birthmarks?

not that i know of

42: Thoughts on freckles?

ive never actually seen someone with freckles in public before but theyre good stuff i gueess?? i dont actually have an opinion on them? everyone says theyre cute and all but im just ??? not that i hate freckles tho if u have freckles? thats cool!

43: First video game you ever played?

pokemon pearl?? either that or megaman on my ps3 OR the bomb square guy????? idk the game name but.. ya

44: what type of bird do you hear most often outside your door?

i dont know what the bird species are but theyre small black birds not crows idk

45: Do you use gifs/ memes a lot when replying to people?

memes yes gifs no bc im not lame like jen

46: Thoughts on spring?

no comment?? i mean? its nice??????? i guess ??? if we had a spring

47: Ideal temperature outside?

oh boy 20 degrees would be enough for me but its never gotten that low before sunny island’s life

48: Cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear skies?

i like clear skies when its bright! but not too sunny and not too warm!!!!! clouds are nice to look at too though

49: How often do you hear airplanes outside?

yeah we live near an airport i dont think anybody uses????

50: Do you enjoy windy days?

windy days are my SHIT back in school our basketball court was open spaced and whenevr wind blew we could feel it man thats the life right there but i hate windy days when im sitting at home bc it flows the curtains rigth into my face i like the feel of the wind and the smell of fresh air but… curtains in my face? not 2 great so rip i close all the windows lmao

okay thank u so much 4 asking falen i love you and wow this was a lot

#im laughing icb i asked u to ask me thank u for asking #ur a good pal #softshouyous #asks

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acnara · 8 years ago

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okay, so I was on ao3 and I think I stumbled on your account on there. Could you tell me about the valour!harry au pretty please? I absolutely LOVED it!

OKAy so im gonna tag @darling-potter bc u know i saw that comment on ao3 (❤) and i thought hey lets combine this and give like. A big chunck of plot away lmao so anyway

• This whole Valour AU thing started when Cursed child came out (me, stating the obvious) because @trippingonflatsurfaces and i just couldn’t wrap our heads around WHY valor. Like, its such a explicitly Gryffindor trait?? It could not be to make the public think of the dark lord a a hero i mean, they were torturing Muggleborns in the freaking castle and had dementors wandering around i dont think JK’s Voldemort was all about that politics life ya know. So why?? Was it like, a mockery of his 2 enemies, both Gryffindors?? But then why not courage (100% identificable no fake gryff trate) or boldness (sounds more of a mockery than valour) was it because it started with V too and Voldemort 36 times champion of acronym competition liked the sick aesthetic???

• well you get the idea we where half making fun of the idea half actually trying to understand why Voldemort would allow people to say his name and why pair it with Valour of all things like one would think he would go for something more like himself

• and then, like the true shipping trash i am, the unverse forces that rule the harrymort ship descended on me and gave me The Idea

• why would Voldemort, who has spend YEARS making sure his name was feared as a way to impose fear and respect suddenly let other people just say it like it meant nothing. Like, not even Lord Voldemort Day or anything, and as Chelle put it, why not my lord or the Dark Lord WHEN IN THE BOOKS HE IS REFERRED AS SUCH 987661% OF THE TIME?

• well maybe

•MAYBE

• he is not the only dark lord.

• maybe ppl cant just say “my lord” or “the dark lord” or “you know who” anymore and actually know WHO they are talking about

• and if there was another dark lord and people went around saying “for Voldemort and Valour" and not something like "for Voldemort and THE Valour”

•hey maybe there was something there

• maybe they needed no “the” bc Valour was not a trait, but a person

• Valour. Such a gryff name beautiful

• and which gryff bitch do all of us shippers love but would also have chances at surviving Voldemort’s rein??

• well no other than fan fave Harry *well shit u my horcrux???? U cant die now* Potter.

• and guess who is supposedly death since the Battle of Hogwarts, when he realized he was a horcrux?? Well harry potter

• so the thing was: what if harry is still alive? And what if he was the other half of the saying, lord Valour???

• at this point chelle and i were fangirling already bc it fit so well with the narrative of curse child??? As in it made no fucking sense but it /could/ if you believed enough. And boi did we (do we) believe

• anyway we made the back story, as in, everything that happened before the lord Valour persona was like “created”. I’ll sare with you both common and personal headcanons bc i like talking and i cant shut up apparently

• so. Cedric diggory kills Neville. That’s cursed child explanation to why Voldemort won. And then, Harry finds out he is a horcrux. He goes to the forest and ya know his friend neville died, murdered buy this guy who used to be nice and friendly till harry beat him in the tournament. And y'all know harry, who would he be if he didn’t think every single murder in this series is his fault in some way??? So maybe he goes to the forest feeling less numb and conceal dont feel dont let him know and more of a mess.

• and in true every harrymort fic ever written Voldemort finds out harry his horcrux that night via mind reading or something

• next thing you know harry is a dungeon been tortured bc keep him alive is not the same as keep him unharmed while everyone in the world knows it. No dead HP folks, just he being tortured to insanity.

•and you know somewhere in between the torture and the taking over the world and the harry trying to remain as sane as he can chelle’s fave trop comes to play: good old lima/Stockholm syndromes

• Bc you cant spell canon based harrymort without a lil bit of these two.

• so bam there u go they want/love each other (i tried to kinda hint this in the fic but I’m not sure if i succeeded?? Voldemort’s whole i did not like him but boi do i like him no w)

•and anyway yes that is the background for the fic. Eventually they reach a point were Voldemort wants ppl to respect harry (he is mine anything mine fucking perfect blah blah we have all read this paring before) and lord Valour happens, bc harry is pretty badass on his own

•Wait did u forget about harry being tortured till insanity well u shouldnt have thats ehat is gonna give us a plot for everything after my lil fic lol

• so Scorpius. As a lil background in what imagined he would be in the cc world he would be an asshole. He also flirts with Valour/harry bc he doesnt know better. Hint at why Voldemort doesnt like him

its a type of harry vs bella but low key bc its just irritating that the little shit would really think he has A Chance. Verry. Irritating. Harry plays the Scopius has a crush card often he finds it hilarious

• anyway this new scorpius acts weird time travel etc. Harry investigates and he opens a portal between the two worlds following scorpius. And badumm tss harry finds out the other harry

•this harrys life is boring. Married to ginny go figure. Auror. No parseltongue. Boring, lord Valours life is way more interesting tbh

•some plot was gonna happen amd then woah wait this harry has something he does not. This harry has kids.

• so u see where a lil insane harry is going right

• ITS CHILD KIDDNAPING TIME THEY ARE ALM MINE NOW SUCK IT BELLA U HAVE DELPHI??? I HAVE 3 KIDS BITCH.

• Voldemort would ended up finding out of course. He is not very into the kids, but shit what??? Harry married the read head???? Does he have to kill her in every fucking dimension to keep her away from what is his???? Yeah harry you can keep your new pets of you like i guess

• Just yeah. Very plotty okay this are like random details and scenes bc harry and ginny would want to save the kids and dimension bs everywhere but yeah the idea was a bit of a war between the two worlds and everything kind of Dead Man’s Tale just not at all lmao

• anyway we wanted to do lots of things and you are totally welcome to join i love this au

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wildchildfreecs · 7 years ago

Text

Me and some friends came up with a Really Awful (GREAT) au, where things hurt and Gon turns dark side. I’m posting the partially edited chat log instead of summarizing ‘cause I’m lazy af, but this will be added to my Verse’s list. I just have to think of a tag

If you’re interested in RPing something from this sorta AU, please hit me up, I’d absolutely love to.

gabriel the gondad - gon is the PERFECT example of someone who could have ended up REally, REAALLLY dark but didnt, out of sheer luck of his upbringing

can - yeah, and if he went to hisoka for training oh my gosh

Café con Leche - ^^ OMG i'd love to read that

can - the poor boy would do a 180

gabriel the gondad - c h r i s t please? ? ? henckin??? ohhh man fucknign please i LOVE hisoka corrupting gons morals i love gons morals being corrupted but i love hisoka doing it even more chefs kiss and Poor Killua watching his light turn black and ugly

Café con Leche - omg yes it would corrupt him so much cain what if he tries to kill Hisoka

can - and that would make killua go back to his family

gabriel the gondad - O h h h h

can - omg

gabriel the gondad - oh this is good

can - WHAT IF HE CORRUPTS GON SO MUCH THAT

Café con Leche - OH MY GOS

can - GON STANDS IN BETWEEN THEM TO PROTECT HISOKA

gabriel the gondad - DFDF

Café con Leche - WHAT IF

gabriel the gondad - GUCK

Café con Leche - YES BUT ALSO lISTEN what if Hisoka completely fucks killua up And Gon walks in and just looks at him

gabriel the gondad - and doesnt care

Café con Leche - all bloody on the ground YES

can - YESSS

gabriel the gondad - "You did this to yourself, Killua."

Café con Leche - And Killua weeps and reaches out for him

gabriel the gondad - and gon Leaves

can - And then cue illumi like "see this is why i said assassins dont have friends"

Café con Leche - Illumi saves him

gabriel the gondad - C H RI ST

Café con Leche - and Killua goes back home clad in darkness AND OMG WHAT IF FUCKING ALLUKA TRIES TO PERSUADE GON

gabriel the gondad - C H R I S T ALLUKA NO oh o h n o what if killua makes a wish

Café con Leche - OOOH oh my god what if his wish brings Gon back but gon realizes what he's done

gabriel the gondad - gon still REmembers and he wont forgive himself

Café con Leche - and he can bear to live with himself BUT he has to save killua

gabriel the gondad - ooooooooo c hrist c h r i s t the Drama the Pain I Love It

Café con Leche - and hisoka and illu just keeps trying to keep tem corrupted them* and gon sees killua again and killua is just ice cold, dead in the eyes

gabriel the gondad - WHAT IF.... KILLUA.. yes Y E S

Café con Leche - and gon knows its all his fault it's like kite all over again f uck

can - and hisoka is like, "this is why you shouldn't put your faith in other people~ only live for yourself and your own pleasures"

Café con Leche - Hisoka whispering in Gon's ear how it's all his fault and he should just accept it

gabriel the gondad - this is,, So Good im eating my own fist OK BUT LISTEN CONSIDER hisoka telling gon "this is your fault. this is why you should live for only yourself" and gon turns around and punches hisoka in the face with as much nen as he can muster and says "if i live for myself, I'm killing you first." bc hisokas the one. that did this to him

can - hisoka would be LIVID And all hisoka has to say once Gon is dead is "Pity~ He wasn't nearly as ripe as I'd hoped. Such a waste."

Café con Leche - Imagine if killua just watches Gon and Hisoka slowly but surely once he sees Gon near death he's returning to some of his consciousness and he cant live without his light and Illumi fucking loses it

gabriel the gondad - c h r i s t ohhh my god

Café con Leche - illumi tries to kill hisoka gabriel the gondad - im Suffering ok but illumi would win b/c hisoka would already be injured from his fight w gon

can - Hisoka would retreat after that he aint dumb

Café con Leche - illumi would chase after him

gabriel the gondad - illumi wouldnt fuckn Let Him

Café con Leche - make it his life mission to kill him jesus this got dark

gabriel the gondad - YOU DONT SAY

Café con Leche - imagine Ging seeing his son so messed up

gabriel the gondad - o h IMAGINE MITO

Café con Leche - mito would blame ging it's his fault he wanted to be a hunter his fault he wasnt there for him

gabriel the gondad - ffffffffuuuuuck ok but, where gon doesnt die he beats hisoka in his fight

can - "Kill me, and you'll be just like me~"

gabriel the gondad - and he takes killua with him, and they leave, and they go to ging, and gon says "please help me, i dont know what to do any more" gon doesnt kill him hes Very Particuar about that breaks both his legs, rips an arm off, whatever it takes but doesnt Kill him illumi can have that right, if he wants it

Boopi - oh

gabriel the gondad - HI BOOPI WEVE BEEN. PLOTTING

Boopi - plotting about wut- e.e

gabriel the gondad - plotting about corruption

Boopi - corruption- i- see- exiTS

gabriel the gondad - BOOPI NO COME B A C K

Boopi - corruption and alluka can not be within the same conversatioN-

gabriel the gondad - listen alluka is the one who fixes everything shes still pure and wholesome

Boopi - okay so what i understand is gon is all dark and moody and killua is suffering more gon x hisoka new evil double duo illumi and killua bonding and alluka flies down from the heavens as an angel to fix everything and re-create killugon

gabriel the gondad - she tries to recreate killugon but you cant erase the past so its still all fucked up and moody

Boopi - does trying make it w orse cause what a twist

gabriel the gondad - i meannnn,,,, define worse

Boopi - dang is this au that dark

gabriel the gondad - :^)

Boopi - if everyone is gonna be dark/angst/whatever this is i am perfectly okey with this sad/wise alluka ftw

gabriel the gondad - if by worse you mean it hurts, because one of the possibilies is gon and killua die but also the possibilty they win the fight against hisoka and have to deal with the fallout of all their decisions and wrongdoings or would worse be they never speak again, and both continue along their paths of killing and being perfect imitations of hisoka and illumi

Boopi - omg allu's stuck in-between

gabriel the gondad - :^) i, personally, think that killua would make a wish to fix everything but nanikas power isnt omnipotent all she can do is get gon to realize where he fucked up and from there, its up to him to try and fix it (whether or not he can is a completely different story.)

Boopi - okay so how would alluka act with everything's different? shouldn't she be affected by it too

gabriel the gondad - THATS. ALSO SOMETHIN I WAS WORRIED ABOUT

can - i mean

Boopi - maybe not nanika, but allu

can - she probably will lose her brother and get locked up again

Café con Leche - AND KILLUA DOESNT CARE AAAAAAAAAAAAH

gabriel the gondad - yeah, unless she escapes she'll prob get locked up again

Boopi - if killua doesn't care then illumi is free to do whatever

gabriel the gondad - id say its possible that,, killua does what he can to free her so he can still have one light in the world like, before he goes back to the family, he hides alluka away

can - if killua calls her something bad like

Boopi - "it"

can - "that thing isnt apart of the family"

Café con Leche - Illumi: So Killua, what do we do with "it"? Killua: .. Do whatever u want jesus but yes i hear u gabe¨

Boopi - can you even imagine a dark alluka

gabriel the gondad - n o

Café con Leche - ALLUKA

gabriel the gondad - not my gentle sweet sunshine

can - y es

gabriel the gondad - n o N O

Café con Leche - gets corrupted cuz she loses HER light

can - she will giggle when she kills ppl

Boopi - just an alluka that's lost hope and enjoys the killing

Café con Leche - omg omg boopi what if Alluka get's corrupted and starts killing because she wants to be useful to Killua

Boopi - alluka or nanika? or both

Café con Leche - both

Boopi - bOTH

Café con Leche - Alluka tells Nanika to kill people and then asks Killua to pat her head aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Boopi - just imagine Alluka's holding [insert character name]'s head here "Killua... Pat my head and tell me I'm a good girl..." and she just creepily smiles while walking towards him with the head casually omg i srry

Café con Leche - omg what if one day she's like "Killua... Want Gon to die?"

gabriel the gondad - O H

Boopi - cHILL wi dark alluka refers to herself like she's an object t h o

can - O H M Y GOD

Café con Leche - ......... oh my go d

can - "I'm an object that you can use, big brother~"

gabriel the gondad - this got a w f u l l y dark

Boopi - "Do not worry over my feelings, big brother. I feel nothing. It feels nothing." geebus christ

Café con Leche - imagine kurapika's roll in this

gabriel the gondad - O H pika watching gon turn into the exact type of person he despises just like the troupe trained by an ex-troupe member killing for sport, just to get stronger, just to prove he can kill them

Café con Leche - oMG

gabriel the gondad - OH WHAT IF.... HISOKA..... TELLS.... GON.... TO... kill his old friends

Café con Leche - kp is a maffia boss right.... What if Killua get's a mission to assassinate him..

Boopi - nO not the friends pls

gabriel the gondad - LSTIEN GON KILLING LEORIO

Boopi - NU

can - AAAAAAAA

Café con Leche - yas

Boopi - NOT THE OREO

gabriel the gondad - walks Right Up to leorio, nen out and boiling like it was with pitou and oreo, poor oreo, laughing, trying to understand whats wrong

Café con Leche - Gabe gabe gabe even worse he crushes his hands, makes him unable to ever become a doctor

gabriel the gondad - hmmm good angst, but also, i feel like, gons goal would be to Remove leorio as a tie

Café con Leche - Sasuke style

gabriel the gondad - i never watched shippuden :0

Boopi - sasuke tried to sever all his old bonds i think

gabriel the gondad - yeah basically that kill everyone who was important to you, so they cant be used against you gon, punching a hole through leorios ribcage, becase he doesnt have killuas technique of ripping the heart out so he just obliterates it instead leorio dying and looking up at gon and saying "i forgive you”

Boopi - stop you're hurting me

gabriel the gondad - leorio WOULD forgive him tho this got really out of hand, really fast

#[[ HO MY GOD. IM DONE ??? IM. DONE ]]#[[ tHIS TOOK F O R E V E R TO EDIT ]]#[[ I DRAFTED THIS A WEEK AGO ANT IM FINALLY FUCKNI DONE ASDSFS ]]#[[ this was a Solid Wall of unformatted text and i want everyone to appreicate how hardi worked to make it readable ]]#OOC; Out Of Context #[[ suggest verse names in the replies if u have an idea bc im fuckn l o s t ]]#Verse; Bloodstained knuckles show no regret #[[ i miiiight change it but thatll be the verse name for now ]]

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